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630 · May 2018
dear little me
jess May 2018
dear little me,

i know your tiny little heart
is overstrained

i know your tiny little hearts
tries to figure out ways and means
to hold yourself together

believe me
you'll survive
all the heartaches and all the panic attacks

you'll survive
feeling so different
and being afraid

dear little me
please stop tearing yourself down
it hurts to see you
hate your existence
it hurts still feeling
your hatred

i promise better days and thoughts are coming

dear little me
i know your tiny little heart
needs advice
but you are strong
i believe in you.
621 · Jun 2019
Untitled
jess Jun 2019
I'm afraid that one day you'll wake up and you're tired of waking up next to me

- insomnia
543 · May 2018
i am losing parts of myself
jess May 2018
i am losing parts of myself
at night
drinking five shots of *****
while pretending to have the time of my life

i am losing parts of myself
at four a.m
walking home alone
starting to feel the ache
i've tried to numb
with another shot

i am losing parts of myself
at breakfast
eating three slices of bread
but hating every inch
of my disguisting body

i am losing parts of myself
at two p.m
home alone
hoping for better days

i am losing parts of myself
in you
cause you are the only one
who could save me
but you safe her instead
jess May 2018
you chose to be happy

feeling relieved and in peace.
feeling like your whole body
is filled with nothing purer than love.

breathe the magic.
and memorize every happy cell in your body
for bad days
jess May 2018
learning to love yourself
is the greatest lesson of all

cause loving yourself
means being one step closer
to a fullfilled life

-maybe thats what aristotle would say nowadays
261 · May 2018
it's my fault
jess May 2018
i refused to say no.
hurting your feelings
was never my intention
so i stood quiet
and hurt my own

-it's my fault.
258 · May 2018
the greatest loss
jess May 2018
you left and i fall apart
you left and
my soul shattered into
a million different pieces
but as you left
i also learned how to put
a million different pieces
back into one
as you left
i learned how to love myself again

-the greatest loss
245 · May 2018
bloom
jess May 2018
i never believed in my own beauty
until i met you
cause you told me
i am the most beautiful flower
you'll ever see

and then you left
with all the confidence you gave me
and suddenly i stopped believing
in my own beauty

but now i know
i am still a beautiful flower
even before i met you.

- bloom
223 · May 2018
rise
jess May 2018
cause your soul is full of stars
and stars need to rise
222 · May 2018
Untitled
jess May 2018
thunderstorms in summer
remind me of the night you left
because it was warm
and calm at first
but I had this feeling
deep down my heart
that peace turns into war soon

the rain started quietly, soft.
I was prepared.
I should've been.

thunderbolt.
loud and still unexpected.
unquiet but quick.

and then the rain stopped, gentle and noteless.
closeness made it hard to breathe.

but I had this feeling
deep down my heart
that war turns into peace again
210 · May 2018
the number on my scale
jess May 2018
i always believed
my happiness
depends on how low
the number on my scale is
and how often i excersiced this week.
how much or how little i ate.

a few years later
i finally realised
numbers frighten my happiness
and being happy
does not depend on
how much or how little i weight

it depends on precious moments
that dont need to be count
to fullfill me with joy
209 · May 2018
i hope you're miserable
jess May 2018
mid september
and i still want you by my side
even you were the reason
i'd noticed why thunderstorms
are named after people

four months.
a summer worth living
and friends worth dying for.
and i still need you by my side


four months.
you destroyed me like a hurricane
destroys districts in seconds
but unlike real homes
nobody wants to fix me
208 · May 2018
i am enough
jess May 2018
i ended up believing
that i am a failure,
a huge mistake

those thoughts still
stuck in my head
like the thought
that i will
never be good enough for anyone


but i am
also trying so hard
to believe
that my existence
isn't a coinsidence
and that i
dont need to be good enough for anyone
but myself
196 · May 2018
whim of nature
jess May 2018
she still sits by the ocean
cause watching the whim of nature
was better than
drowning in her own.
185 · May 2018
you're not alone
jess May 2018
till hell freezes
the sun always rises
till death do us part
you're forever in my heart
178 · May 2018
regret
jess May 2018
lonliness wrapped me like
a warm blanket
i used to get comfortable with

your love was willing
to be a better blanket
but i was afraid of change

and took my lonliness
instead of your love

- regret
166 · Nov 2018
deep down
jess Nov 2018
Deep down I was broken
like the ship that capsized
broken into two pieces
a heart releases a spell
waves could whisper
and shells would keep forever

Deep down my emotions became motionless
calm like the waves
while the sky
was dipped in light blue
ablaze with light that
hartdly ever seeps through

Deep down all tell breaks loose
Deep down I barely lose
my stormbound soul
my capsized soul
picking up the pieces
the shells kept forever

Deep down I can't decide
whether I'm the
falling tide or
the rising light
Or just another drop in the ocean
146 · Jul 2019
You're my weakness
jess Jul 2019
you're my weakness
even though you make me feel stonger
you're kisses opened the gate
to a place
I thought will be locked forever
the keys hidden underneath my biggest fears
you're my biggest weakness
but you're eyes touch my soul
I won't fear anything at all anymore
an abundanced aspiration
of a demanding soul
an abundance of passion
lingered by two lovers longing
a love
that opens long hidden places
a love
that makes you feel weak and strong in the same way Ying & Yang is balanced
a bond given by the ancestors
held together by the universe
two souls
you're still my biggest weakness
but I won't fear your love anymore
An unprotected love
Hands Down
the flowers in my garden guarding the gates of my fragile heart
lost all their thorns
Hands Down
tearing apart the sidled ivy
tossing away all heavy stones
holding my pure heart
in you're bare hands unprotected
and protect it
jess Jun 2019
we were strangers
we were strangers until we decided to see each others universe
to see how your soul fits into mine
and how my palm fits perfectly into yours
we were strangers
until you kissed me for the first time
and I had the chance to taste stardust on your lips
lips I couldn't get enough of
lips sweeter than any chocolate I'd ever tasted
Sweet, bittersweet
A bittersweet feeling
knowing you'd fade away
like a shooting star in the night sky
knowing there comes a time your fingers wont touch my skin anymore
they wont make me feel having a whole thunderstorm in my body
we are not strangers anymore
but your fingers wont touch my skin
my lips wont taste your stars
your soul will forever complete the universe you once discovered
128 · Jun 2019
Untitled
jess Jun 2019
there are places in my body nobody discovered yet
because I used to play hide and seek with my emotions
you're hands touched my heavy heart and it feels like heavy turns into heaven right after your eyes searched for the universe in mine
there are places in my body only you discovered
Because I dont play hide and seek with you anymore

— The End —