Rowan S

Rowan S Jan 2019

Mudslide

My mind is like mud
   slow, sliding down
      a
         H
               I
                     L
                           L

I feel like
      my brain
and all the
      canyons
are being filled
      with

   memories
I
don't
want

#memories #thepast #braing #graymatter

Rowan S Jan 2019

(anger)

Chairs and tables deserve to be
Wrecked
This silent scream
Piercing my brain
Causing mental destruction
Drives my craving to
Mirror this rampage
In the tangible world
Shaking hands that might
Break
Before
Hardened
Wood
and
Plastic

Another old one about the "hijacker in my brain". I never acted on any of these physically destructive urges, but good god were they in my head at times.

#anger #silence #mentalhealth #hijacker #rage

Rowan S Jan 2019

On the subject of sleep paralysis

Every noise slithers 'cross
My ear drums with
The cool slickness of a
Sandpaper serpent
My skin pulled tight
'Cross my raw nerves
Nerves
Stretched stiff as a drum skin
Upon which beats this
Percussive tattoo of wild instinct
I clamp my eyes, vice-like
"Please let me wake"
But no
In this misty dream realm
I remain tethered, chained
Stuck in a sarcophagus
of
Strangled Silence

Waking from a night terror, half in, half out of sleep. Never sure which is reality.

#nightterror #sleep #ptsd #nightmare

Rowan S Jan 2019

Perspective

Much like the stars
My light from the past
Is only now reaching me

I'm at peace with my past.

#stars #thepast #movingon #peace #perspective

Rowan S Jan 2019

High Coup #5

I want to change me
Too bad I'm a piece of sh*t
My brain tells me this

*using asterisks because apparently the "normal settings" won't allow profanity in your feed unless you change it in your settings*

#highcoup #haiku #575 #selftalk #brain #mentalhealth

Rowan S Jan 2019

Unhealthy Therapy

Just a glance paints a picture
Images of some other era
Non-existent ideas
That maybe laughed, wept
Danced
Steam rising from slick skin
The starlight illuminating us
Perhaps we found unexplored places
Dined on fabulous food
Lived
Fought
Loved
But.
Here we are
In this circle of broken people
So just a glance
Lets me imagine

Occasionally you write about random people you are in group therapy with, because you still aren't ready to actually deal with your own problems.

I don't really feel this hopeless romanticism anymore, but I started my page with the intention of posting the old with the new as well.

#grouptherapy #romanticism #therapy

Rowan S Jan 2019

Twist

When those tired sad songs
Twist to melodies of love
That's when you know
You're in trouble

Wrote this more about brief moments of infatuation distracting you from a previous heart break, rather than about finding another love.

One love will never replace another.

#sad #love #music #infatuation #distraction