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Rowan S Jan 2019
When those tired sad songs
Twist to melodies of love
That's when you know
You're in trouble
Wrote this more about brief moments of infatuation distracting you from a previous heart break, rather than about finding another love.

One love will never replace another.
Rowan S Jan 2019
Swinging from this place, I never thought I'd leave
I craved the welcome comfort, that sense of purpose
There was no end in sight, who else did you have?
But one day, I saw you look at me. With no need.
You had no want, for me to keep you warm
With all my patches and holes, I couldn't help anyone
But I didn't see that. How could I?
So now I hang here, silent
And no one needs me now
A codependant coat
Rowan S Jan 2019
In a new place now
One last chance to start over
Breathe deep, you got this
After living in 4 states in the last 3 years, I can say with a doubt:

A geographic change could not help me run away from my problems, especially because most of them both internal and external were caused by none other than me.

I carried my issues with me like unnecessary carry on bags across every one of those state lines. I wrote this a day into my most recent state, and the only reason my life has been any different was I finally gave into the idea that enough was enough and I needed to change.
Rowan S Jan 2019
I've always thought
        myself a ship
With all others
        caught in my wake
My life, a black hole
        a gaping vortex
There is no hope of escape
        
And I the captain
        drunk at the wheel
There might as well
        be icebergs
I hope to god
        this journey ends
I'm tired of the wreckage
Rowan S Jan 2019
Music knows me.
Knows my struggles and victories
My passions and prospects, promising
Music knows me
Understands the lies I hide in a cyclical shell game
As I try to hustle life
My attempted con on the universe
Because fear is perpetual these days
And I must escape life's lidless gaze
Penetrative exposure of deception
Because life is played out in music
I can fake a tune
Can fake an answer to,
"How are you doing today?"
But music knows me
Knows I have nothing

                 -i'm fine
Rowan S Jan 2019
I interpret your every move
Twitch your eyes and
Speak volumes
Smile and tilt your head back
Laugh with a honeyed tongue
A tongue to taste
A tongue to bite
My breath catches
In trepidation,
Tightness forming
In my chest
Does anxiety buckle
For fear
Or because
I’ve never felt love
So sincere
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