Looking at his
face
I see the
man
I used to
love.

I want to
know
what it feels
like
to have you
inside
of me tonight.

I wanted to lean in
There
At that moment
I hesitated

My heart hurt.
It pulled towards another
But stumbled over you.

You let go,
I didn’t want you to
But I knew we had to

Sweetie,

I'm sorry that I keep staring at the other boys.
And keep thinking of the other girls,

But if I'm being honest,

If you ever left me
Love would be a forgotten feeling
That I never want to reclaim.

I may crave the skin of others,
But my beating heart is in your hands.

You came to me in the summer sun
Eyes filled to the brim with gold

Now you've abandoned me
Leaving my heart empty

Winter has never felt so cold.

i dread the day you learn
for the first time that
you can't just love all
the darkness in me away

and no matter how much
you care i will still toss
and turn at night and scars
might still appear on my skin

i dread the day you realize
that you can't cure me
and sometimes all you can do
is stand next to me and
hold my hand through fog
pouring out of my ears so black
and thick we can't even see
each other's faces

i dread the days i can't
get out of bed
the days you want to
take me out and all
i can manage is a prettified
shell of myself

i dread the day you learn
that sometimes no matter
how hard i try i still can't
pull myself together

the day you learn that
there isn't an answer
you can give that will
save me from my fears

you aren't the first person
who has tried to love the
darkness inside away
my family and friends
have given it their all
but someday you too will learn
that if love could
cure mental illness
the world would be
a much better place

We devour time
like it’s our last meal
gorging on the future’s ideals
as we forgo the delectable
dessert of Now
we savour dried crumbs of the past
long after the expiry date
unaware they are mouldy and stale
repeatedly consuming it’s poison
all the while wondering
why we feel so sick
inside