what is this like?
this is love.
this is me, feeling like i hold the world when you turn towards me,
and your cheeks are soft pink and you look up,
and give me a soft smile, ducking your head.

this is me, unwrapping kisses and wanting to hand-feed them,
wanting to pull you close,
wanting this to last forever.

more than anything, this is me afraid.
i don’t want to ruin this, or us,
or love.
i want to know exactly how you feel,
and i want all of you.

i want to see your poems,
unravel your mysteries and study you,
map you like the stars
-discovering more and more of the most beautiful thing.
wanting to delve into it.

and i guess this is us
-feeding each other kisses,
blushing, wanting, cautious, afraid, hopeful.
this is us, building a map of the stars and galaxies and never knowing enough.

this is us, wanting to be happy
-being afraid, and thinking, thinking, wondering.
taking it slow -because the first things we’ve ever done will be with each other.
and sometimes, there may be others, other things, but we’ll have each other.

and this is me, listening to the same music because it tells me
-we have something beautiful ahead of us,
that i’ll never regret.

this is what feeling (loving?) you is like.
all of these things, this wonderful feeling that makes us beautiful,
and somehow i wish the world could know,
because i’m afraid,
but so happy.

I have loved you
Longer than I expected

Harder
Than I wanted

And more beautifully
Than I could imagine

let me
just this time
let me walk away first
spare me the heartbreak
of watching you leave
spare me the pain
of setting you free
let me, just this time
let me walk away first
let me feel the pride
of the one leaving
not the pity
of being left behind
let me, just this time
let me leave you first
i’m tired of watching you leave

today is this first time i’ve ever really,
really,
wanted to pray.

i’m so afraid, because you’re all i can think about.
it’s all you, and the other things,
they’re important but you, you’re there.

and who would answer me?
what would they say,
when they found a girl, who always wanted to pray,
pleading and asking for clarity.

what would heaven say?
the ground beneath my feet,
seems unstable,
so take my hand and pull me up and let me see the clouds.

help me run, help me fly,
and rid me of these feelings
-this confusion. because i want us to just love.

and if someone else answered,
i’d walk all the way down and ask.
maybe you’d give me help, or i’d find sinners along the way.

we’re both sinners, because our muses (not us) told us we were something else
-beyond the way humans believe. beyond belief.
so, what would think of me my knees,
just wondering something about you.

today i am hopeful.
this, this is our story.
today, the sun is bright and the rays,
they whisper to me.

whispers of you are mine,
whispers of hope,
of the fact that these years could be more,
more than school.

the moon tells me, there will be memories,
those ones i only dreamed of having,
the ones i never thought i’d have with you,
but always knew.

i always knew about us.
i knew from the days you mentioned loving my creations,
the days you said there was a girl,
and i was so disappointed.

when did you know?
was it today, or yesterday,
when you told me you had hope?
for something -i’m not sure.

and darling,
feel free to call me that.
or sweetheart.
or whatever else.

this, us, i know something will happen.
something wonderful.
and now, the things i can’t write about,
i imagine.

Covered by a blanket of stars
Soothed by a soup of the cosmic ocean
I see silver, I see blue
Precipitation of every color and every hue
The scenery in front of me washed anew
And I saw a world formed by words false and real
I saw the sun kissing the moon
I saw sleep embracing the night
I saw time in a waltz with space
I saw promises holding itself true
I thought I'd see you holding me so
But I only beheld a shadow in my view
Is this the future of you, a love too new
Or is this just a ghost of you
A dream I never got to know