The orchid is flowering
Opening,
a living mandala
Next to my bed
I hear it in my dreams
It's telling me very strange things
About the chemistry between us
And what being a flower really is
And what it really means.

There's a lot to learn.

The orchid whispers in chemical symbols

I danced through the night one night
I drank water in the desert
The sweetest taste, I've ever known
I heard a sound I've never heard before
The buzzing of Chi
Blowing in
while the curtains fluttered
In the night time wind.

Our time I know is limited
Forever wilts away

But while the orchid is flowering
That's for another day

I find myself longing for the scent of the night and at least
One more dream to go.

a chest that's empty
yet filled with lead

a mind torn so clearly
between the living and dead

the hair on my arms
standing straight in defense

of the words i was not able
to protect against

i spent years pretending
to feel nothing at all

until your eyes met mine
and i began to fall

but here i am pretending
to feel nothing at all

as once again i am reminded
that what comes must also go

remember the boy at the window in the white button down?
and the girl grinning from inside?
remember the two of them sitting under the moon covered in bug spray and each others arms?
remember them talking about a future they claimed they wanted?
remember the look in their eyes when they saw each others faces?
remember how happy they seemed?

turns out, they're liars

that boy called her outside to taste her skin and kept her in his back pocket so on his bad nights he could take her out and pour himself into her to forget his problems. he did not love the girl, she was simply an addition to his body count.

that girl wrote ****** poetry and told everyone she was great to hide the fact that she wanted to scream and burn every reminder of that boy from her memory because she knew she was just an object. she told the stars she did not love him and her subconscious filled her dreams with his face.

they were filthy liars,
hooked on the idea of love


s.s

let's have a meeting
on the bathroom floor
doesn't matter where
my place or yours
you can poor a drink
and i'll poor my eyes out
i'll tell you what i hate about you
until you just blackout
because you just drown problems
and i am one of them too
because you never cared about me
i was nothing to you
then when you're passed out
and my lungs ache from crying
i'll tell your unconscious self
you made me feel like dying
but then i'd brush your hair back
and drag you to bed
tuck you in to sleep
and kiss your forehead
i would tell you sweet dreams
and feel my chest burn
i hate you for lying
but it seems i never learn
i would care for you
on your death bed
because unlike you
i meant the love that i said

s.s

to the boy
who is learning
my favorite song
on piano
just to make
me smile
thank you
for reminding me
that some boys are sweet
like the melodies you play
and not all
are nails on chalkboard

s.s

nothing hurts more
than the sweet lies
of fake romances
and the wasted time
of too many undeserved chances

s.s