There’s this girl
She’s been around
But I never saw her
She was there
I was blind

There’s this girl
She’s softer
She doesn’t cut
me to pieces
I melt

There’s this girl
She is kind
She always is
Kind to me
I don’t know why

There’s this girl
She is beautiful  
Not like a thunderstorm
Like a summer meadow
I would lay in that meadow
All day

There’s this girl
We’re not even dating but
There’s this girl

he told me:
“addiction is just gravity.
you try to climb out,
but it pulls you back,
over and over.
at some point,
you stop fighting.
you call it home.”
then he wiped his nose,
snorted another line,
and laughed.
like gravity was a joke
only he understood.

it stings
but thats the price i pay
for doing bad things

again

will it ever stop?

will i ever stop?

itll stop when the world stops spinning
they say it gets better
to wait it out
itll stop when i stop breathing

Am I suffering beautifully?
Do I wear my agony like a crown?
Adorn it with pearls and jewels,
And parade it into town?

Is my pain reasonable enough?
Do I raise it up or tone it down?
I’ll try to cry pretty, tiny tears,
In fact, I'd do it in my gown!

For even in despair, I should be desirable,
Dare not to be emotional, dare not to make a sound.
To be a woman is to bleed, but glamorously.
There shall be glitters in the meltdown.