I'm here
trying to save your ***
and all you do
is to stand there
laughing
laughing at me
Why won't you realize
that your pain
is what's making me suffer
I need you
don't leave me
please
let me help you
please

.
     Hello, my friend
     You've walked so long
Though you have far to go;
     Take refuge here,
     Just sleep and rest:
You look tireder than you show.

     Come in, my friend
     I've worn those shoes,
And walked down many a road;
     If you come inside
     And sit awhile,
You may leave with lesser a load.

"But it different with you 'cos you're a friend"*
Those words cut deeply through her mind, chipping at her heart.
With you is all she's ever wanted, and she knew this from the start.

Because
      after all
the final
   letters of friend
      spell end.

I sat outside today,
at the top of the hill in the back
With nobody around I sat there,
and I breathed,
so clear and easy
I felt no restraint,
nothing could go wrong.
The sun was high above me,
the air wasn't thick or heavy,
it was soothing.

I lived today, and finally....
I realized what is really worth fighting for.
tomorrow.

I can no longer breathe without the regrets of pushing you away....
my eyes cloud up as my mind reveals our finest memories,
the little time that I had you to call mine.
I failed to inform you as much as I sought out to..
that you are the very thing that keeps me striving to move forward.
you are the very blood in my veins keeping me alive and breathing....
but I could not tell you this.
I could not let you know the things that I held inside,
in fear of rejection.
in fear that the words I longed to speak would push you further than the actions
I had revealed to be me....
I gave you my breath,
and you let it go....
but I forgive you for it all, for you had no intensions of hurting me..
did you?

I remember your voice.
the slow, steady breath
you took between each sentence.

I remember the way you stood.
at a shoulder width stance
yet so relaxed and calm.

I remember the your eyes.
how they lit up in the darkness
and led me stray when closed.

I remember the things you said.
you loved me.
you needed me.
then things changed,
I hated you. I wanted you gone.
now I realize...
I remember