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 Jun 2014 ---
Kagami
Im Okay
 Jun 2014 ---
Kagami
Quicker than I thought, but
I feel fine. Ready to move on.
I knew I was holding on, and realizing
That has made me able to think.
Cheesy movies and music has helped,
But writing has been better.
And one person has been there
So much within the past few months
That I know I am well cared for.
And now it will be time for me to be
A recorded message, waiting for the time
To say goodbye to the past and
Hello to a new life and great memories that
Caused experience and a new friend.

Thank you for your time.
I had fun and hope that we
Both can benefit. Its over and done,
But we can start over as something new.
And maybe e can laugh together again as
Something simpler than what we were.
I love you as a friend now. I've learned that.
 Jun 2014 ---
Kagami
For Once
 Jun 2014 ---
Kagami
Maybe, for once, I want someone to tell me that they wont leave me alone.
Maybe, for once, I want a truthful response to my worries instead of a lie or silence.
Maybe, for once, I would like a bit of sense in a confusing circumstance.
Maybe, for once, I don't want to be treating like the helpless weakling that people believe me to be because suicide is on my mind at all times. I may be miserable, but I am not giving up, no matter what ******* people throw at me.
Maybe, for once, I want to be a ******* human being, not a glass figurine with diamond tears.
 Jun 2014 ---
Kagami
Instinct
 Jun 2014 ---
Kagami
Something bad is going to happen.
The only thing on my mind (because I cant help it):
Remember your promise.
 Jun 2014 ---
Kagami
In the woods, I stood and ran.
Watched and blinked, watched again and everything
Changed.
I ran through every twisted maze of vines and stones
Protruding from the ground and the air around me,
As if I was in a dream.

I thought back to everything:
The first night, the first awkward hug, the first nervous kiss.
The way we moved and touched, the times we got lost in
Conversations or arguments, the times I refused to dance
And the times when you refused to tell me
What was bothering you.
I remembered the unspeakables and the times when we played
Like innocent children in an adult way.

I remembered every detail, every thing you had ever said to me
Like it was carved into stone.

And I began to miss you.

I looked through a clearing of wildflowers
And I imagined a cabin, just big enough for the two of us and our children.
the little ones running free by the waterfalls and through the wildflowers
While I sit and write on the porch, your head in my lap.

So quiet. So serene.

I dreamed of nights when the children are away at their grandparents'
and we had the house to ourselves, dimly lit,
And the faint sound of screaming to the guitars and drums it matches.
We are still the same as we are now, but responsible,
Older.

It was because of those fantasies that I realized how much
I loved you. How much I do love you and always will.
Even though it doesn't seem like it,
I love the way you look at me. I love when you tell me I'm beautiful.
I love when you hug me when I am upset,
But infuriates me that I can not stay angry at you.
I love the shimmer in your eyes when you sit and stare,
And the way your pupils dilate when you come closer to me.
I love how rough you are because you know I wont break,
And I adore how gentle you can be.

And as I was reading today, I realized
Why you appeal to me as much as you do.
You are not the type that most girls look for, though you should be.
You appeal to me because of everything I love about you,
And everything I love about you makes you
The living, breathing version of the man in my books.

You are the hero that saved me,
cracked open the shell over my soul and poured out the remnants of
The whole smile I once had.
You made something of it.
You made something of me when I thought I'd have nothing left.

After everything I have seen and experienced with you by my side,
I still have so much to learn.
I have so much to discover, And most of that is
Trying to realize how far my love for you will go.

After everything, this still feels like new.
The innocence and the questions. It's no mystery,
But it is foreign enough to be my home,
The place where I am supposed to be.
It's all of the little things.
 Jun 2014 ---
Kagami
Lately, I haven't been sure.
 Jun 2014 ---
Kagami
"Hey, sweets! How was your trip?"
or
"Hey, love :) Hope you had a good time!"
or even
"Hey, I missed you."

No.

You forgot.

Hours after you get home, I sit waiting,
Not knowing when you would get home.

I was home at two yesterday.
I had service at eleven.
I left the cabin at nine in the morning
A six hour car ride
Wondering if you missed me, because I sure as hell missed you.

And I get a "hi."
Probably over reacting. Still hurts.
 Jun 2014 ---
Jindomess
I was hungry
 Jun 2014 ---
Jindomess
I wanted some subway
But I was starved
I was forced to
Look at the building
"Hear that it's subway
Saying goodbye"
You say as I cried because
I could not have any
 Jun 2014 ---
Kagami
What is Truth?
 Jun 2014 ---
Kagami
Every lie, every single one, is in some way a truth.
Every truth, every single one, is in some way a lie.

Think about it.
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