Tashionna Shontaye Jones: Favorites

Feb 2016 Tashionna Shontaye Jones

Ayeshah

I've been living on memories

Today you called

and

they rushed back to me

clearly we've both moved on

but

once I picked up the phone

Memories

haunted me

following me

like a shadow

Our time has past

and

I know the truth of you now

Why am I so emotional?

Sadly so

when I'm sure you're no longer feeling like I do

Time on my phone tells me we've been talking for

6 hours and 29 minutes

I have to hang up

but

I want you to know about all the memories
&
note
I Remember!
© 2015-2077 by Ayeshah K.C.L.N.
All rights reserved.
No part of this may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means,without prior written permission of Ayeshah K.C.L.N.

its hard to forget so many thing's we shared , life
& death's and so many in betweens. sad to end but it's the way things ended up; huh!?!

Feb 2016 Tashionna Shontaye Jones

NOTHING LEFT

Feb 2016 Tashionna Shontaye Jones

Ayeshah

NOTHING LEFT

We
were
all we had

I gave
it
away

I let go
of
your hand

Now

Now
we have

Nothing left

Bitterness
remains

On my pillows

Were your scent
used to linger

A farewell
long since came
In the mist
of our sweat

Crumpled sheets
and
a stain

Nothing
even matters
and
further more

I've not changed

I grew up

&
realized

We stopped time

Only for a moment
until

There was
no
Hope

Our
Wish
wasn't fulfilled

Dreams

turned

nightmares

&
Prayers

Prayers went

unanswered

We were

all we had

&
Now

There's Nothing LEFT!
© 2015-2077 by Ayeshah K.C.L.N.
All rights reserved.
No part of this may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means,without prior written permission of Ayeshah K.C.L.N.

It hurts to much to hold on & hurts to much to love a ghost . Whatever you once we're you're not anymore!

#truth #hurt #relationship #sorrow #forgiveness #longing #acceptance

Feb 2016 Tashionna Shontaye Jones

HOLD MY HAND

Feb 2016 Tashionna Shontaye Jones

Ayeshah

HOLD MY HAND

I have these feeling
nagging me

Weighting me down

I can't explain it to you

No one can know
cuz
they won't understand
can't
comprehend

I know we're born to die

Live for it in fact
but
it's been consuming me

Every single night
since
December  01 2015

I've felt this foreboding
soul
crushing
feeling
which leaves me in tears

These thoughts
aren't my own

Guess
I'm  not use to really being
alone

On my own

yearning for something
but my heart says
Death isn't it

I've tried to shake it off
ignore it
even face it

Truth of the matter is
I'm living in fear

I don't fear much else
just the thought of
life moving on
without me

Thoughts of
My family and children
thinking of me
fondly
and
still living their
life
With out me here

****
I don't want to be a memory

I want to be
here
Laughing or crying
feeling all life has
good or bad

I don't know what happens
once we're gone from Earth

Some say heavens for real

Yeah yet

Maybe

Maybe that's my fear
that  maybe
I've done so much wrong

I'm not going
but as
I've said and always will say

I was born alone
I'll die alone
Still
it'd be
so wonderful
to have some one
there
just to
*Hold my hand!

© 2015-2077 by Ayeshah K.C.L.N.
All rights reserved.
No part of this may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means,without prior written permission of Ayeshah K.C.L.N

#love #fear #life #death #spiritual #birth

Feb 2016 Tashionna Shontaye Jones

Tell me WHY?

Feb 2016 Tashionna Shontaye Jones

Ayeshah

Tell me WHY?

What would possess a man to stalk me on the internet after I've told him over and over that I'M  not looking for a relationship?

what would possess that him to pretend to be other people on the internet?
When somebody does not want  you to  be apart of their life...YOU should give it up

Be it  male or female

You should leave them alone
respect their boundaries and their wishes if they wanted you they will be with you period!

I know I stated that I don't want a relationship

Yet I'm looking for friendship and I don't want anything else when the time comes for me to settle down again-no we're not talking about marriage just settling down with one person and being committed to each other when that time comes it will not be with you....

You can cry about it
YOU CAN rant about it
YOU CAN  feel however you do
JUST  just stop stalking me!

I know for a fact that you have MANY girlfriends and of course YOU asked another woman to marry you

I know for sure that you have many lovers & for what?...
I don't know because you're not really good in bed and not good at much of anything .... that's your business and I would like you to stay out of my business

I would like to live my life without you stalking me: hence why I moved to a different state!

I'm on this here poetry site that I've been a part of for a very long time
Yet
I don't even write on here as much anymore because I'm being stalked.

This  this is someone that I  moved far away from 2 years ago and I'm still being stalked

The saddest thing is you're wasting time on me for no reason!

All this failed understanding of what I'm saying  has me worked up , like who enjoys their space being invaded?

Fact is you'll find some way to read this and still stalk me;  via the web, text or call me.

Makes no sense to me..

if I must do another restraining order so be it...
I'm so tired of this  ******* and it's not that I'm afraid IT'S  more so I would like peace of mind because I don't want to become a criminal and hurt this person that's stalking me knows I fear no 1.

I will protect my children so let's hope for his sake he stops!

I don't want to have to go in and out of court.
Which is WHY  I move out of state;  to get this person to stop stalking ME!

WE ALL can't control what people do on the internet but I **** sure can control a person going on to the  poetry sites and dating sites that I'm on, pretending to be someone else!

This is so stupid to do and then try to have conversations with me. ... *** don't you think that's sad- that he's almost 50 & doing this?

He's a father of 3 and a grandfather.

He claims he can have any woman he wants,

  THEN why does he stalk me huh?

Go ****** HAVE  her cuz I don't want or need ya !

I hear stalking is more about control , for some  your  their possessions......

Guess rhats why 6 years ago he once told me -I was his property....

From then on I didn't want to be with him & MADE SURE TO get away from him.

THIS AIN'T slavery & my black Puerto Rican  *** don't  belong to nobody but me!

THANKS FOR READING FRIENDS AND LETTING ME VENT!
STILL MY QUESTION IS TELL ME WHY?
WHY ME?  I think he'd **** me if he could find me! Tell me why?

#abuse #hurt #control #stalker #sociopath #psychopath #demented #possessions

Feb 2016 Tashionna Shontaye Jones

I Wanna Know!?!?

Feb 2016 Tashionna Shontaye Jones

Ayeshah

I Wanna Know!?!?

I've had a handful of relationships

Along with a few lovers too

Yet I'm not fulfilled
I crave the knowledge of passion desire gut wrecking ****** awaking

I can write stories that would set you on fire and have you begging for release

I can speak on countless times
I've allowed my body to explode in an ******* haze

So what?

Yup I've said it - SO WHAT?

I wanna know what it is to loose myself in our love making to be completely submissive to my body's cravings and allow myself to be caught up in the rapture of *******!

I have so many times allowed myself to have ***

You on top or I'm on top
We'll try some new postilions
yet all the while we're doing this; I'm thinking of what to cook or did I past my finals  and/or I'm fantasying about the way it could be

Silly me I'm no **** star yet I've watched a few and "acting" as they are - it seems like they have a clue on what it means to really let one's self go

I wanna know how to do the same

I want you to talked ***** to me (ONLY when We're doing this)
Call me out my name sometimes tell me whose it is

I want to be held down tightly as you ****** deep inside
I want my mind to be there too

I want my soul to scream out when I do
I want my body to convulse and shake -without feeling judge or laughed at

it happens  because I've heard storied
Even if it's yet to happen to me I fear it can happen.

I want to  be free to explore my wild side and truly let go of all inhibitions

I wanna be devoured by you
whom ever you may be
since
I'm on my own currently
and
I have no plans to seek out a relationship

YET

I still would like to try to have a lover -
that's something I've yet to do
We always ended up in a long term relationship
or
I end up married to him

Maybe having a lover isn't for me
but the other stuff
most definitely is all for me

I wanna be lust after and desired so much so that he's almost stalker-like for me
but
he'd be wanted
unlike the current stalker out here
bothering me

I wanna know what its like to be truly concurred
*******
stripped down and have him make me feel
so alive in and out of the bed room

I wanna know what it's like to ride his face or be turned upside down to be as I've heard it called grudge ****** until we loose all time and space
where our souls collide and we forget every single thing!

Maybe a simply relationship
that has all the benefits of lover's and we'd also be the best of friends

Guess it'll balance out some how
I want my fantasy to be my reality
Eat me lick me kiss me hard bend me flip me

put me up against the wall
**** me fast and make me cry lust  after me hurt me

but don't stop
I want hours on end
until we're spent and tired
yet
we'd take breaks
but keep it going

I know how to have *** and ***
even ****** or even at times fake it
for right now though
I just
Wanna Know!*
(is what I'm asking for too much or not realistic?)

#desire #lust #fulfillment #*** #longing #learning #exploration