I want to write a poem that smells like perfume
that flits and that flips through a rose-tinted room
all wispy and wet and cosmic and cool

I want to write a poem that omits all the grease
the fierce firing squad, pimps, perverts, police
to tickle your fancy and make you go guuguu

I want to write a poem that moves through your veins
like sweet fairy dust not shackles and chains
be part of the pop cult, feel the pulse, feel the pulse

I want to write a poem that travels lit-up highways
with no broken bulbs, no sirens nor slipped gears
without red-danger zones nor emergency phones

I want to write a poem with soft cuddly toys
and trinkets and things that make no loud noise
to nibble your chin and that sort of thing

I want to write a poem with an innocent face
that softens your edges and slows down your pace
'til you're won and you're one and you purr and you hum

I wanted to I really did
2015

There's a certain kind
That holds you hostage
Way up there in the bleachers
In a red-light district
Cold and cheap
It lures you because you're lurable
Attach and you're stuck up there
In a certain kind
Of dilapidated ivory tower

It's only later on
When you're broken
When the nights have woven
Their history and the light
Has drained
Only when you're pushed out
Only when you're shoved off
Only then does the truth
Begin to talk

Until then it's been silent
Though gradually loosing appetite
For despair, denial, dilemma
Only when unhooked
Does that fierce, quite dismissal
Begin to beg for something else
Only then does
A certain other kind
Begin to go wild for itself

You wonder how yourself
Moldy and molting
And mad with lies
Had so deceived its own
You wonder how
If there is a god
S'he coulda watched you bleed
With self-betrayal
And sat there idle
While you slowly crumbled

But admit it
You were terribly cocky up there
In the pink and belly-full
***** and hookered
If G O D woulda spoken
You woulda spit in the face of divinity
And you probably did

So that certain kind
Watched and waiting
For another
Certain kind
To choke the bejasus outa ya
'til you slowly faded to full stop
And dropped to your knees
To a certain other kind

Do not be disturbed
If I lack the ability
To sugar-coat
The beautifully human
The tragically human
Or
If I refuse to try rewrite
The book of life

Do not be disturbed
By us
Mad mischief-makers
Us
Multi colored misfits
Who wander the market place
All dressed up
With nowhere to go
But here

Do not be disturbed
By us frenetically tainted
Us
Silly sprouted beings
Who speed the highways
On a wild goose chase
To wherever


Dearest do not be disturbed
If I regurgitate
Some heavenly-scented hairball
From some holy rap sheet
From some wasted wobbling wino
Do not be disturbed
If I smell a rat and show my teeth

Do not be disturbed
By the impending days ahead
When some grizzly goon
Some long-clawed nimbat
Some long-forgotten ghost
Coughs  up and spits in your face

Of course be disturbed if you must
But the days are short and the hour is nigh
The time for braggards and barbies
Monsters and missionaries
For mystery and myth
Will soon quietly pass away
And you wont be able
To hear a pin drop
Dearest
Do not be disturbed.

There are those you meet
You've never laid eyes on them before
But you feel that  you've always
Been listening to their song
Their banter
Hearts that split you open
And throw you off your own
Imprint
And you start to wonder
If from now on
This ink is permanent
And when you start
To fall into their eyes
You feel like you could
Trust your life to them
You don't know why
It's not logical
And your mind starts;

"This isn't real
They're just like everyone else"

Still you feel their feet tapping
Inside your skin
And their hands brushing away
Your issues
And your tissues tingle
And don't give a ****
Because it's such a perfect
Moment
Where the air is thin
And cool and sharp
And cuts like a laser
Right to where there's
Nothing but this
And you find yourself
Wanting to be everything
That they are
Whilst at the same time
Knowing you already are
And you can't decide
Which is more beautiful
Their bone structure
Or
Their quirky knee-hopping
And you know for now
It's a perfect, transparent
Irreplaceable moment
When you want for nothing more.

When you start to dig beneath the surface things begin to show
Things you never thought of nor ever seen before
Big things, little things, questionable things
Like placid smiles that you've been pushed beyond
An agreeable Yes that life has ripped you from
A loving touch you once embraced
Now sliced and shaved all the way down
To where the Ahhas lay

Childish trust, blind faith now blown asunder
For something more urgent as you dig further under
Layers of fluff and squiggly stuff
Unfashionable stuff, freaky stuff, fabulous stuff
More mystery undone, more digging to come
Is it ever done?
There is no final word, no failure, no success
No chisel that can carve away what's etched
Deeper than your flesh
Another winter's here and stubborn leaves
Still linger
The apple crumble's ready
And for now it shall appease your hunger
You bow your head and say
Namaste
A thousand times
Namaste
Namaste