I had an ego death

tonight

i didn't know the stars
could shine so hard
see so
far in

chest drummed
beats thrum bang
bodies jam

all my senses widen
iris collides with swollen abyss
touch
craved

self forgotten

i betrayed trust
and it betrayed me

i am consciousness
too much

that realization
i am broken

i wish for a fix
perhaps along a new wave
us bliss this

my father is 62

it
KILLS me
to hear him
talk about his knees

they are shot

he sez

i am getting
old

he sez

we aren't even close
and yet hearing this
makes me
cry the worst kind of tears

i know i know but i jus
can't
rn

tired

is to see --- i mean REALLY see ---
my situation
for what it is

to stop bullshitting myself

and then
confronted with that
bored whitened knuckle
muster one final act of bravery and
turn off the lights

Bittersweet as a burning tree
As the second name of belladonna
Keep your voice below the bagpipes
Keep your chin above your phone

I guess the rink was never icy
Now that the grief is not as thick as water
I never was the hard-heart type
Back when I never slept alone

You and I, we're both the same
looking through water, a clear perception
Life and love, we know it's name
ocean's waves and where they're kept in


Awakened by depth, a product of two
the past concedes this gift to you
the innocent nature and suppressed abature
clouds that contour an illustrious blue


Speak no sound, just thoughts alone
a mind so ominous matters most
nothing of others may conflict in stone
intelligent airs will wisp new ghosts


Forfeit your presence from everything new
observe the fate of the human hand
this external shade, defines only few
bring judgement to those-

in search for

Dry Land

plant a seed down deep
it must die before it grows
but then it will rise
and be greater than ever
closest and strongest of all.

Here I am alone
travelling in the darkness
you left and gone
this hurt totally sadness

Here I am wet in the rain
no shelter nowhere to go,
such pain.
I hope this tears would never go low
I want it shed to reduce my sorrow