This is goodbye.
I am going to try and forget you, to live my life without you.

To not use you in my words, my writings, my songs.
I am truly sorry about this "apostrophe."

Certainly you had your place in my world.

Many times you were there, for me, for many others too.

You occur when a speaker breaks off from addressing the audience.
And directs speech to an absent third party.
Often it is a personified abstract quality or inanimate object which some absent or nonexistent person or thing is addressed as if present and capable of understanding.

However, you keep me from writing positive words like "Can, Will, Have and Is", among others.

I have come to realize, your best friend... "Not" is an important part of you.
Still one should never discard even a part of a best friend, something you do, when you become part of speaking and writing.

This may not be goodbye completely.

Simple because you were taught to me to be a part of my words.
I cannot blame teachers or writers.
I can only blame myself.

Nevertheless, I have the will to choose.
Therefore, I will make every effort to remove you when I read.
When I speak and when I think. I have that ability.

When the night was still and quiet. And the sound of the blood rushing through my veins filled my ears, the only way to silence it, was to slip out into the night.  AND like the hunter that spawned me, joined in the struggle for life and death, I was alone, unable. And those around me didn't understand, they shunned me, she cursed me, calling me vile names. I did not know why. Even now, do I know why I am driven? Why I cannot relent or repent or confess or abstain. How could I know, I have never been here before. And not one will lead me to that knowledge.

Those feelings are still a part of me. These veins are still a part of me. I control them. They do not rule me. To fit in, it is demanded, to change the one part of me I cannot change. And because I cannot, I do. That too is the mark of a good man. What enemy must a warrior battle to be appreciated and not taken for granted?

And as the blood, the love, is slowly drained from these veins, it is a painful death. My heart withered in my chest. My breath was taken away, no breath offered in return. Suffocating only because I am loyal, true and committed.

I am becoming a shell of what was once a powerful man. Weakened in these arms. Beaten to submission. Pride removed, replaced by fear.

Only fools have no fear. A broken man I am. What price, at what cost, is a place in the virtual worlds? Reality eludes the master. And the rope, the one I once held with honor, now binds me. As my feelings are pushed aside, like unsaid words, as sand in the eternal sea. Closer towards the cliffs I am pushed. Her appetite for destruction is never satisfied. Feeding it has removed my bones, only my spine supported this emptiness.

With creativity in bondages, manipulate and conquer becomes a formidable weapon. Slicing away, layer by layer I became what it wished for me to be. Silence of tongue and emotionally tangled in the convoluted mind of misunderstanding... I lost strength from the ***** of a virtual reality, once I was ingenious but have been reduced to ingenuous.