Some days I wake up in terror
The body would move if only the mind would
Send the signal
Feel safe enough to go on living
Those days I feel a cage in the shape of
My skin
Pushing inwards with so much force
I could become a black hole


Some other days I wake up vivid
Full of life
I can walk, run, lift
Smile
I can answer the phone
I can plan my days ahead
And the only thing getting in my way
Is a pain
In my lower back
That makes it difficult to make things fun
And a confusion
That makes it difficult not to wonder:


"𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦?"

Verdant and lush cliffs of green,
Tangled ivy and hyacinth,
Living brushstrokes paint a scene,
Bright and peaceful labyrinth,

Sweet scent wafting in the breeze,
Reflected light crowns each swell,
Sapphiric hues swirl the seas,
Cobalt depths where shadows dwell,

Granite peaks with greyscale shroud,
Icy peaks where snowflakes fall,
Silent glaciers cloaked in cloud,
Titans tower over all,

Maple, oak, and evergreen,
Dancing sway with nature song,
Lusher robes than kings have seen,
Vines and willows ever long.

Sunbeams through the window are like childhood memories—
Warm, vivid, and simply true.
And they never leave me, even when I’ve forgotten.