could you imagine what it’s like to not imagine?
to feel a feeling, before it ever happened?
to tell a breeze from a beast, waiting in the cabin?
to conclusively deny the myth of the dragon?

could you ever really know the false from the true –
having lived so little in a world so new?
could you live with love, when all you have is you?
could you assure the blind that the sky is blue?

could you split the atom, and fill the void –
with a hate so violent you were meant to avoid?
could you find your peace, amidst a frenzy on steroids?
could you smother the fire with which you toyed?

could there ever be a time you’d know for sure –
if you should let go, or endure… a bit more?
could you think for yourself, with thoughts obscure?
would you dare to tell your child - ‘you’d better mature’?

capricious: an outcome driven by sudden, unpredictable change (adjective)

your head gets heavy
a feeling of doom springs about
it lingers
enveloping you in fumes of doubt
it sets in, a cloud above your head.

it takes control
a silent, grey dread

colours fade out,
light grows dim
the heaviness spreads,
filling your eyes to the brim
shades of grey is all you can see

you search for colour,
desperately
to bring you back to reality

for the world you knew
sinks beneath the tide
into the dark abyss
of your mind
where shadows hide.

the abyss becomes all you know.

The smile that reached my eyes doesn't feel as genuine as I’d like,
When I always catch myself trying hard not to die inside.
Effort was made though the situation was far from fine,
One look wouldn't tell; a day spent could always lie.
Nothing would ever make anyone believe, the chaos I held,
Right here, inside my spacious but confined—
Witty yet always tired, sweet, fragile little mind.

~
First God
Then Everest
To the ends of elation

Her eyes in sunflare
An imprint from her light
Heavy and pulling me
The ever after of the hereafter

In that moment I was hesitant
~

Adding blocks to the walls all around me
Standing in a growing tower
Continuing to fear as the drop grows more severe

You made a ladder to help me down
Each step was thought uncertain
Until you gave me your hand too

An ocean of tears turns into a river
Still turbulent but with direction
An emotional title wave takes me over

My bones are young. They know this land. They were created, formed, and tendered in this land, but my blood. She is ancient. My blood speaks of my ancestors. She cries out from injustice. From pain and suffering. Her strength is unmeasured. My blood demands justice. Her power building, supported by my mothers and my grandmothers. We will not let you destroy us.

abraded sky  scabbed
      by winter fluctuation
much uncertainty

I thought life was an equation,
one that could only exist in absolutes—
black against white,
sharp lines, clear edges.
But then, you blurred the borders,
redefined what it meant to be whole.

And I realized that in the spaces between,
where nothing is clear,
the most profound truths linger—
not in certainty,
but in the quiet chaos of change,
where we are found, whole in our imperfection.