Is it really what I need?
Or is it what I want?
Do I need to control my habits?
I have been for so long, but I know what happens once I give in to them...
Indecisive, I can’t make up my mind.
I keep switching between different thoughts holding me back, trying to own me.

I pop all alone, for fun.
But it’s love what I seek.
To have someone whom like me, understands me.
Someone dark, intense, emotional, and passionate.

I crave it deep inside but I brushed it off completely letting go of the topic of lovin.
I incoherently, fell in love with the topic of sin.
I need it bad.

I’m feeling ****** and sensual.
I’m feeling seductive and flirtatious.
I want someone close whom I can share that with on a deep level.
I’ve only felt pain, bring the drugs, to numb me again.

Vain, cold veins shivering inside of me.
So detached, love is nothing to me.
Water flowing inside my lungs, fire in my heart, and a devil on my tongue.

I crave depth and intensity with someone.
Love me hard, even if it’s just for one night only.

my wings grow more than I expected
i never knew this wings of mine will help me to fly again
when I felt the pain in my wings before;
its like my body is incomplete
they laugh at me and make me pitiful
but I didn't care about their thoughts their words to me
because
I want to soar high until
I saw the peak of my dreams,
fly my angel.

Be strong
Things gon’ turn
around for good
A new dawn approaches
A new hope cometh soon
A new beginning is here
Trust the timing
And just stay strong

“don’t do it,”
I say, to the brown eyed best friend opposite me
“don’t ever love anyone. Not ever.
It’s how people get hurt,
Believe me
I saw what happened to the others.”
Her brunette waves bounce in an agreeing nod,
“just,
just promise me you won’t.
Okay?
just, promise you’ll focus on you”
there’s a stunted wavering, to my tiny voice
as I try to find the words to match my conviction
“Don’t get distracted.
You’ve gotta make something of yourself.
Something real big okay,
I know you can.”
her chin drops and she averts her eyes at my praise
as though she doesn’t know yet, what she’s capable of
“You’re going to be something real big,
Just, you can’t do that with anyone else
Okay?
So, don’t love anyone
They’ll only get in your way”
Your better than me
You can’t let anything get in your way
You’re supposed to be something.”
At this,
Her lips turn from cupids bow to longsword
And she scrunches up her freckle frosted nose as her eyebrows knit themsleves into a sweater
“So promise me,”
I say, scooting closer,
“Promise me you won’t care for anyone.
Not even me,
Not even me. I’m not good enough.
no one at all.
Just be the best.”
She nods, defiantly agreeing
To the plan
though looking away in discomfort
I catch her eyes, not done yet
not satisfied with her response
“Pinky promise?” I say, Extending my nail polish chipped baby finger
To hers
an unbreakable pinky promise
to be doubly sure no one will break her

she extends her
Nail polish chipped baby finger towards mine
And I reach for her,
crossing the distance between our hands

until I hit the mirror

Trust is an illusion,
a complex metaphor,
that blankets insecurities
with the closing of a door.

Trust is just perspective,
of wanting to believe.
The power of our thoughts
can be easily deceived.

Trust can evolve.
It never stays the same.
It falls in and out of favor,
from the relationships you gain.

I only trust myself.
I can see my own self through.
Nobody has my back
quite the way I do.

My pen, my friend,
Every moment with you feels so real.
Whenever I have something to say,
You always give me a listening ear.
You lend me your shoulder when need arises,
You rejoice with me in moments of joy,
With you I can say whatever I want to;
You give me all the attention I need.
Oh my pen, my friend,
I can't thank you enough for always being there.
When I can't express myself in speech,
You give me the chance to do it best.