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It seems like lately
Its all been pain and frustration
And I realized
That I go to counseling
And I'm told about how toxic
All of my relationships are
And I realize
That I don't know who to love anymore
And I just don't know
If it's worth it to me
To rid myself of poison
If it means I'll have to starve.
I know she's right. I know that I have a tendency to form toxic relationships because of all that I've been through. But it just seems as though in the process of stripping off the people who aren't good for me, I'm also losing everyone who I love and I don't know if I want to be alone for the sake of getting better. I don't know if I am willing to face the fact that I have a lifetime of bad relationships and that they need to be torn down in order for new and better ones to be built, you know?
Anonymous Feb 6
I envy the rain,
for it can touch your pretty face,
trace your lips,
and rest upon your skin
ever so gently,
while I was never allowed
to touch you
as intimately as it does.
yāsha Jun 2023
i think i exist only to love
but never experience,
a pretentious bag of bones like me
will only stir your feelings
     —you will wallow in it for some time
     and then you will forget about me
like a cup of coffee that has gone cold.

but if i must admit,
it's because i do stunt my own growth:
in life, in love, but strangely enough,
                                           not in death.
an odd number of reasons
aid my tendencies;
they get glued together to form
a paper-maché of well-composed farewells
—a craft i have mastered in my years of longing.

i think i exist only to love,
but never experience—
yet here i am, still longing
until i get a hand to hold.

— The End —