Scars
     Reminders not of my suffering
     But of my survival

There is one thing I know for certain.
If you could not endure loneliness,
Then you wouldn't survive long in the real world.

Triumph over tragedy is not being dismembered by it.
But how to stop the bleeding?  That is the thing . . .

the collar on my jacket is frayed
but I have clothes on my back

(just)

the packaging is white with green print
but I have food in my belly

(of sorts)

the soles talk and leak when I walk
but I have boots on my feet

(for now)

so I’m OK

(I suppose)

***** deep into the Smart Price ™ life
this man, his daughters, his son and his wife
where all their food comes at discounted price
expired meat and rationed heat
sweepings and fat wrapped in plastic

the walk was wholly unexpected, but it was easy
leaving the town where the forward leaning walkers
were the slowest thinking talkers steeped in sugary urgency,
and all the way we **** giltterballs and Skittles

Sometimes we fall in love with the dark
and I of all people, know this best.
Sometimes we are too broken to
be healed by anything this world has to offer.
I have read this story a thousand times.

When I was 17 I learnt at 2 am
when you are not yet asleep,
and the voices have been
screaming inside of you for hours
your only friend is the darkness that surrounds you.

When her hand fits so perfectly within yours
how can you asked for a better lover?
She has always been there for you,
even when the rest of the word left
and you didn’t know, if you will see tomorrow.

And there has been so many days were
I didn’t know if I would ever see tomorrow.
Still early in the morning she has always
called me back before the sun as risen.
I have always came back.

I scream inside

But I cannot die

I have promises to keep

and volumes to write

but this feeling inside

is drowning me from within

My world of dreams

So beautifully constructed

So perfect and blissful

Now only bring pain

My dreams are so bright

My life so bleak

No paths leading ahead

no bridges leading back

Stuck in a loop

I cannot break

I can feel the cracks

As they spread throughout

my heart and my soul

How long can I live

with a fractured soul

How long can I survive

when all hope feels lost

I understand your frustration
With my lack of motivation
And my repetitive procrastination
But you need to realize
I'm only doing what I need to
To survive
Music and books
Keep me alive
Therefore
if you wish to see me
Tomorrow morn
Please leave me be