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Molly Sep 2019
If I could have one last conversation with you
A final day in the sunshine
I'd tell you I love you
for the first time
and the last.

If there's one more thing I could teach you
It would be that the way you're living
is no way to live.

But I'd say it in my head, send it through my exhales in the hopes it subconsciously reaches your ears,
so as not to ruin the present moment.

We're sitting in silence
knees touching
bodies leaning into each other so it all hurts less

You'd stroke my eyelashes as they flutter with your fingertips
I can't remember what your laugh sounds like anymore

I can picture you laughing, but it's like a silent movie

But I remember how your voice sounds as it cracks through your tears
And I can see your restlessness
even with my eyes open.

I can feel your sadness
Its weight I can still see imprinted on my love seat

If I could tell you one more story about myself,
To the version of you that was still open
like a sunflower
so willing to receive

I would tell you that I'm tired of being scared
done with hiding my need to be protected
so tired of staying up all night guarding my own heart.

I may require affection and love more than you're used to giving
but you have seen my love move mountains for free
and I need just once for someone to do the same for me.

If I could meet you for the first time
one last time

I would share with you that I see your fears and I honour them
sooner than I did before.

I'd tell you
you're safe here

I would believe who you said you were the first time.

If I were to say goodbye to you again
a do-over
an un-doing

I would sit fully in that moment with you
and thank you for your honesty
forgive you for your shortcomings

Accepting that you never really unpacked your bags

Even though in my mind,
we had already grown old together.
I can't understand why
I cant let him in
Hes been nothing but kind
But I'm stuck in my own skin

How could he see me
As beautiful and brave?
I've lived in this body long enough
And believe me it always caves.

He can't look at me without smiling
And its contagious, I do the same
I want to know so much more about him
What he hides from the world, what makes him afraid.

I want to let my walls down for him
But I'm so afraid to let him in
I'm actually a lot to handle most days
When he sees the real me theres no way I'll win

I keep telling him I am messy
I'm not sure he understands what that really means
How can I explain how most days I hate myself
And there are days I feel like I'm torn apart inside of me.

How do I let someone new in
With all the baggage I come along with
I'm not sure where to even begin
I should probably just quit.

If theres one thing I'm good at
Its self destruction at best
I know hes gonna see that soon.
I guess for now I'll give it a rest.
bones Jul 2019
I'm surrounded by these four walls,
My thoughts bouncing off of them;
Loud and clear.

I find comfort in these four walls,
Knowing that my cries for help never leave,
That when I wail at night no one can get to me.

I also feel trapped by these four walls,
They make me feel small,
The white colour blinding me when I come up for air each time.

But these four walls know me better than anyone else here,
They know the real me.
Because when I leave these four walls every morning,
I leave as a new me.
its been a while since I've written on this website. it feels odd to be back.
I hope this poem makes sense in some way.
Jen Apr 2019
Sun dried pages of a book
you've carried around
long before the first day
your father picked you up
and you felt what it meant to be free.

The cover scratched
from the cobblestone walkway
leading up to your front door,
the one where mom always greeted you
with a smile that defined the meaning of home.

Coffee stained corners
from the first all nighter you pulled,
the day you learned
to keep your thoughts tucked away inside your bag
instead of out in the open where drinks and feelings are easily spilled.

Two covers stuffed
with a life times worth of letters
arranged into stories
that haven't felt like your own in years.

Paper filled with unfamiliar feelings
flee your fingertips and you realize,
you haven't been concerned
with holding on for a while now anyway.

Sometimes the pages stop making sense,
and all that's left to do
is drop the book completely
and create a new one.

                And you use what you learned,
                                    but leave it behind
girasol Mar 2019
His eyes are a different color
His hand in mine feels odd
His words sound familiar
His strength more obvious
His love more secure
Jessica Stull Dec 2018
It’s funny how we cave away, rot, and decay
But the beauty that stands, is held in the other hand
We love to hate what we create or we fall in our own grave
We try to be wise and not give into disguise
However sly ones with a grin can trick you from within
Never do we have the right plan for escape or a veil of protection, like a cape
But we do learn from our mistake
The beauty of this play
Is it’s actually more like a game
It’s your choice if you’d like to play or stay away
In the end we all cave away, rot, and decay
But the beauty that stands is played by the hidden hand, this game can end
No more “play-pretend”
©Jessica Stull
When you put pride aside
Kay Sep 2018
The sun has set
The birds have stopped singing
The wind whispers for me to go home now
This field is no longer for two
The ground has hardened beneath me
and you’re no longer enjoying the view
Our path is covered in weeds
Where the flowers use to be
No more purple and pink to dress our feet
Only black and blue remain
For they have left a stain
I follow our foot prints back to the road
For now it’s time to take the long way home
Only this time I’ll be doing it alone…

- K.B.
I wish I’d known you longer,
Met earlier, been stronger.
I wish I’d not spent those years,
Without you, with all those fears.

I wish that our paths had crossed,
Met earlier, I’d been lost.
I wish I’d have had the chance,
Without you, knew not romance.

I wish I had known your name
Met earlier, it’s a shame.
I wish I’d known who you were
Without you, past life’s a blur.

I wish that though we never
Met earlier, forever
I wish endless love and so
Without you, I never know.
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Bansi Adroja Aug 2018
We are our blood
all of the family ties that bind us
keep us in our place

In the same country towns
on roads we walked with backpacks
dreaming of the beyond

The things we said we'd do
to keep our parents happy
the school plays and good grades

Sometimes it's all too much
being the good one
or knowing you have to grow up

Sometimes there is nothing more
than being nameless in the wilderness
with no expectations to weigh us down
with no scars from the past

born brand new
A Poem a Day : Three
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