the wolf shouldn't be alone,
it's weak alone
but even weaker
within a pack full of sheep

One long endless night passes yet again,
Never mind counting sheep, I’m now counting flocks.
The days blur into dreams of classics...
I am Ahab, and sleep becomes my whale!

Countless twinkling lights mock me through the open window
Judging me from their perch in the night sky above.
I eat another bowl of meaningless carbs,
Hoping the article on my Twitter feed wasn’t just fluff,
I load and reload the harpoon, as I miss my shot time and time again.

I fade again. Woozy now. Eyes slow blinking...
The whale is smiling, it's tail flipping, and mouth all grinning, stabbing teeth. I fire and miss.
He laughs, ignoring this, and drenches me in ****.
He flashes me a toothy grin as he disappears underwater.
He isn't coming back.

My bed becomes a porcupine.
My pillow becomes a stone.
My blanket becomes a sheet of burs woven by the Norns.
My eyelids become coarse-grade sandpaper.
My back becomes a banshee screeching in pain.
My legs become restless deer who sense a nearby wolf.
My hair begins growing perversely inward.
My bladder becomes the Trevi Fountain in Rome.
My thoughts become the last horses running the Triple Crown.
My heart becomes a double bass playing Skeletons of Society.

He appears again, far away from my ship, head turning in the distance, pity on his face.
He turns back toward the open sea and is gone.
I perform a complex horizontal maneuver
That CNN’s Dr. Gupta said soothes "The sleepless body at night".
(He’s a ******* liar!)

The melting white whale becomes a series rectangles above me,
They form a drop ceiling,
With sprayed-on popcorn, and unexplained little holes
That provide me with a giant connect-the-dots ceiling!

WHEN suddenly a shrill, repeating, soul-crushing
Cacophony wracks what little sanity remains within me, trapped in this never-ending, soul-crushing trap of mind-numbing numbidity...

It's that God-forsaken, three-inch square, , ***** capitalist *******-of-a-red-blinking-*******-of-a-heartless-mother telling me it’s time to start a new day...

******* alarm!

I still haven’t finished the last one.

you could call me Larry
you might call me Shaun
but I will look Eastward
and wait for the dawn

you may think me seasoned
you could call me spring
but I'm looking Eastward
while the morning birds sing

you could call me silly
you might think me dumb
but when I look Eastward
I greet the dawn sun

I been dragged thru the ringer. The Enemy of the Saints (Lucifer) have tried to drag me down to the grave by tempting me and insulting my intellect, hope, loving kindness towards others and faith.  I am a noble soul with a Life that has been tough and merciless in many ways but I still somehow see a light a glimmer of hope in the silence in the mundane in the ordinary ...people deal with many problems and in their brokenness and hopelessness they seek to relieve their pain thru the substances readily available in the world to numb their emotions numb their physical and trauma and pain that they have to live with... I unfortunately turned away my face from Jesus when I choose to use illegal substances to numb my own pain. I was self medicating with Stimulants & Cannabis.  I was a functioning addict able to barely pay my bills and my rent for the first 7 years of my addiction. Then the last 2 I encountered Homelessness that broke me to the core.
I was in the end of 7/01/19 I kept using and using but then I had a moment of CLARITY and there in the emptiness of it all I was out of my mind...losing it all ...I had no ID no $$$ no faith in anything I was totally in a pit of regret, remorse and disdain on what I had caused my Life to be put thru I felt in an endless loop a void so deep so obscure I had no idea if I would make it out ALIVE...suddenly I realized that in the pit of my addiction where I could not dig any further than what I had put myself thru I ended up in FCDC (Fayette County Detention Center) "Jail" for 3 days and a half and there I said I told myself...this is enough I have had enough. God was talking to me...in a way I could not even fathom...When the police showed me the paperwork of where I was in 7/27/19 at 3:31 AM in the morning in front of a Center Bank in Lexington KY only with my undergarments on and talking to myself like a maniac no one around me and all I had left was a shadow of a former life I had lived. There I fell sleep and Police took me to jail "literally saved my life" hence I would of have died if they wouldn't have took me that day...I realized that they where trying to ask me in the Jail what was my name what was I doing sleeping in front of the Center Bank in Lexington and I look super ultra rugged. Long beard I had not had a bath in like 2 weeks smelled like a mixture of sweat **** and **** and my eyes where bloodshot skinny as hell and my mind and my body wanted to give up on life at that moment I didn't want to live no more...I had no hope no faith and no love for myself or no one around me. Finally, after 2 days of being in the Jail Cell in FCDC I thank GOD had my intellect back my thoughts back I remembered my name and how to speak properly. I had my SANITY back when I thought I had done it I had become a "Wet Brained" individual left to live the rest of my life as a Lunatic. There I decided I was done ...when I saw my paperwork and being released from Jail I was that my paper said "John Doe" then it was barely scratched off and my name underneath it. That name means a dead man ...a body left behind in the street with no life left in it lifeless or already in the grave. There I saw that...and wept bitterly for a while since God was there with me and his precense was so radiant and I could feel him hugging me and telling me "I came to rescue you from your former life as a former drug addict and I come to heal you and help you get your life back and be someone in society" and that made me smile ... There many inmates that where getting out back to the Outside World with me asked me and tapped me on the shoulder asking me if "I was OK?" I told them to leave me alone since I was talking to God and he was talking to me I did not want to lose that ...so I was from there transformed and I had a spiritual revival when I finally set foot outside that jail and saw it the sunlight I smiled and said to myself ..." I AM A NEW CREATURE ...FOR GOD I WILL DO HIS WORK FROM NOW ON &  NEVER LOOK BACK I AM LEAVING MY PAST HERE IN THIS JAIL & LOOKING FORWARD TO LIVE A SOBER & SANE LIFE FROM NOW ON" from there a New Chapter in my Life has been opened and I have commenced to walk with my Savior to what he has to show me and bless me with from now On I will let people know that he is real and he is the great "I AM" Lord thank you for not letting me die or be enveloped in insurmountable darkness...you have given me the Light to go on and regain what I lost...I Love You for that Jesus My Redeemer!!! Praise The Lord Of Hosts. Amen.

The razors of sabers
Will the wool make my blood thin
Calmly and unconsciously zip up my skin
The sheep don't know the wolf is with them

Lonely Shepherd counting sheep
Close your eyes and go to sleep

Lonely shepherd counting sheep
None are missing but still you weep

Lonely shepherd counting sheep
The wolf will prey if you should sleep

Lonely shepherd counting sheep
None are missing but still you weep

Lonely shepherd counting sheep
Close your eyes and go to sleep