Confidence used to be
Like a shelf I couldn’t ever quite
Reach.

But turns out, I just needed to
Get up off of my
Knees.

Some girls like silver.
Others like gold .

What if the girl.
Who likes silver.
Has never believed she deserves gold.

It's too shiny.
Too bright.
Draws too much attention.

It's golden like the sun.
Yet she wants to hide like the moon.
Just the way girls in silver do.

The girl in gold.
Shines too bright.
The spotlight on her all of the time.
As they say she's too much.

What if the girl in gold and one in silver.
Knew that they were like the sun and moon?

Destined to be seen.
Destined to be heard.

Like the stars aligning and universe shifting.
What if they both knew?
That they deserved to take turns in the light of day too?

Need I, to change myself?
Well, the question is easy not
Because what doth change exactly mean?
Need I, to change my behaviour?
Depends does it, on the situation
However, were you to ask me to change
Something that hath been a part of me
For years and years
The answer shall a resounding no be
Because, were I to change my nature
Then Ashwin I shall be no longer!!

Need I, to change myself?
Well, when it comest to anger management
Change I can, certainly
Of course, it is but something
Already am I working on
And I boast not
But strides, have I already made
Thus, am I on the right track

Need I, to change myself?
Well, when it comest to self-belief
Agree we all should
That this is but something
Which I need to work on
Because, currently drowning am I
In a pool of insecurities
Some of them being self-created
But yes, working on it am I
Through therapy and reading the gospel everyday
And of course, penning poems like this!!

Need I, to change myself?
Well, when it comest to certain painful incidents in the past
Do well I certainly could
To make an earnest effort
Towards forgiving and forgetting
Not because those people deserve it
But for my own inner peace
As have said repeatedly
All those dear to me

Need I, to change myself?
Well, were there something
Which I am happy with not
Then yes, may some tweak be needed
Because, as said a very dear cousin sister of mine
Change is but something
Which would keep me happy and protected

Need I, to change myself?
Well, when it comest to my character
Once again, the answer shall a resounding no be
Of course, a few behaviours here and there
Can altered be, if required
But then, doth it apply to everyone
And most importantly
Believe in myself, I must
No matter what
Again the words of my dear cousin
Amen!

Bless you, beautiful
How can you not
know your namesake?
Shaken by throw away words
From those
Who do not know your worth.

'But I can't fly'
Said the
Buttetfly-to-be.
'Oh my dear,
One day you will
And you'll do it
Beautifully'.

God is everywhere
God is in the meadows full of flowers
God is the child locked in a cupboard
God is with the dolphins in the sea
God is at the heart of all atrocity
God is full of benevolent kindness
God is plagued by selective blindness
God is the name of our inner peace
God is the bomber and the bomb released
God is the congregation deep in prayer
God is the cleanser, the killer, the slayer
God is the sound of children laughing
God is the train now departing
God is the question to all the answers
God is the famine and the eco-disaster
God is the breast-milk from the mother
God is the oil-slick sea-life smother
God is the oil that fuels the lamp
God is the guard in a concentration camp
God is the abundance of fruit on a tree
God is the maker of child-*******
         God is good........God is bad
         God is happy.......God is sad
         God is living........God is dead
God is everywhere inside your head
God is everyone you've ever met
God is horribly the best thing yet
God is no-one and all things as well
God is innocent and guilty as hell
God is is the answer to all our prayers
God is the darkness at the foot of the stairs
God is a poet.....a juggler of words
God is THE AUDIENCE
            ..........HOW ABSURD

Knowing what I know now,
And if I could go back,
Would I take the time to change,
Review myself and backtrack?
I honestly don’t know,
Only a guess I could make,
To say that actually I’d choose to stay the same.
The events of my life made me who I am now,
For better or worse,
I have have strength in me now.

If you could go back,
Would you change anything?
I hope not because to not be you would be a sin.
You are an amazing person,
And don’t you forget it,
To change that now,
Would make you regret it.

I closed my eyes
from the light
and when opened them
it was already night.

With my unfamiliar heartbeat
and a voice of faith.
I looked into mirror
and saw her there,
staring at me,
with fear striking glare
and telling me untold tales.

Tales of,
the dreams that died,
the emotions left unfelt,
the words left unsaid
and the path not taken.

I saw her
carving for love,
when loving someone else.

I guess its part of life
and now my choices ,
are what i am.
Let i forgive me
and build a path of self belief
out of this maze
because when winter passes,
spring comes again.

So i will fall again,
fly again,
run and crawl,
will hit by countless stars
But will never stop again!..

My breath,
the path i walked.
The me from yesterday,
the me from today,
the me from tomorrow
its all the answers for me.

M still finding myself,
is on the path to love myself.
Its the beginning of start,
and the end of end.
Now even my scars,
seems my very own constellations.