What would it take for me to feel real?
Maybe money or someone that for me would kneel.
What would make me happy?
A university degree or just chocolate toffee?
I see people finding their way and everything stays strangely in order.
Maybe I have to sign a contract or just to cross the country border.
I'd feel content if I knew how to paint, how to write or how to do a speech
or simply it would make me want to escape to a quiet beach.
My head finds places, feelings and people that seem surreal
and I watch the sweet alyssum die while I skip another meal.
A simple but terrifying question burns my mind,
will I always feel so empty even if all of it I tried?
If it is all pointless in the end, what is it then to be living?
I refuse to exist in automatic but does life have any meaning?

I don't know how, I summoned all the courage to tell you,  I'd this feelings
we both holding a black umbrella, during a drizzle, under a tree,
by the side of an old car, I and You in that seven minutes talk

I don't know what, made you smile for few seconds,but I was glad at least
you laughed on my thoughts and may be on my first poem
I must have a strange confusion

I don't know why, I couldn't carry the talk a little further so I could
have seen that gentle sly smile on your face
a little more time

I don't know where we would meet in future, whether I will start the talk
and you will hesitate to answer  or you would start first and say few words
and again make my few more nights sleepless

Then he bends down on one knee