My heart yearns for the way
I feel in her presence,
For the candlelit warmth
And melted wax flowing over my soul
As it casts out this winter's dying embers.
My heart yearns for her heart
Like two strands longing to be coiled into rope,
Stronger together.
My skin longs for her softness,
For the gentle caress on valleys of skin.
My ears long for her 'I love you,'
And my mouth so desperately wants to say it back.
Sweet Love of mine, we are almost there.

You grace me with
lightness, bright mornings, cool breezes,
darkness, soft notes, flickering candle flames,
warmth from gentle sun's rays, highlighting text,
and the curve of your spine as you stretch across the sheets.

I have never known peace like this.
This is as true as my heart beating double-time to yours.

I spill words of trauma and loneliness,
of fear, and hate, and years of bottled
up bruises.
I know the stories I convey hurt you,
leave you speechless and unsure how to console me,
But I have never felt safe enough
To flood the world with these confessions
Before I met you.

Your palms apply pressure,
reassurance from an outstretched hand
to a simple ruffle of my hair,
and the empathy runs over from your eyes,
unable to fathom
a child taught respect by fire, threatened with severe burns to be molded, controlled, manipulated,
a child taught their worthlessness by begging for forgiveness,
rejected pleas leaving tear-stained innocence,
imprinting guilt far below just the superficial skin,
You ache for this pain of mine to dull and fade,
translated through the embrace of me into your time and space, mind and body.

I have never known love like this.
This is as true as your heart beating half-time to mine,
So why can't I tell you that I love you?

please marry me. please, oh my god, please marry me,
because i have feelings i need to bury in the backyard
of our really nice house on our quiet gated street. i can
give you slightly above average *** and you can give
me your arm around my waist, boring and boring and
steady, a nice "have you met my wife?" to round off
the pleasant evening. we're friends, we're friends, you
tell your stories to an adoring audience, but you're only
looking at me, and i draw the shape of your head over
and over, trying to get it right. we can be alright, isn't
that what we all want in the end? i can give you those
chubby hands, a gummy smile, through the bars of the
crib, and you can be the voice over in the first birthday
party home movie, the proof that it's not just me. i roll
over in the dark and my arm hits you and it's not just me.
and when you get too drunk i can be the stern hands on
the steering wheel of our sensible car, and when i get
too sad, you can help me fill out doctor's office forms.
relation: spouse. tell me we don't have to be in love. i
don't want to be in love, i want the beige place mats, the
suburban nothing, the pb&j cut into triangles, a life of
april tuesdays. we can get a ****** golden retriever and
make our baby wear one of those flower headbands from
etsy and you can say, "i don't think you've met my wife,"
and when i roll over in the dark, you'll be there, boring boring steady, and
we can be alright.

It seems I missed the opportunity to wish you, a "Goodnight, Pleasant Dreams", my dear.
   Many would say a small thing as Things go. What with the Trumpet blaring out "I Love You" and the Bassoons low mournful note of "Goodbye",  and in between, the blazing Pinions of love's "Do or Die".
   But here is a Home!!  This thing made of Stone and Brick, Trees cut to fit.  Call them Love, Faith, Charity and most crucial Hope.
      This small profound edifice is held together by the Mortar(Good morning, Beautiful. How are you today) and Lathe ( let's do this together. Can I do anything for you?  May I ease your burden My Dear. How can I Help.) And the Nails of Iron and the Glue that Binds( Good night.  And Peaceful Dreams, Sleep here in my arms.).  It's all these little things that hold it together. The Constant Work that Love Engenders in one another to Build Together. That Proclaim Quietly but Resoundingly, One Moment to the next, Day upon Day, Month to Month, and Year after year, that We are Companions in this Life. That I will not forget that My Friend is with me and to always Undertake for the best for My Helpmate.
    That is the bedrock upon which  Love of each other and all the rest is built.
  And so,when all the nourishment I want is in front of me.. Your mind... With all your Hopes and Dreams, Fears and desires, your Passion and your Apathy, your Great Strengths and your small Limitations!!!    
       All the memories we created together. When seen through your eyes The perspective and light, have changed all I see, as if for the first time.
    You and our first kiss, Discovering in ourselves each other. That is what it is about. Learning where we fit together like a pair of double doors that had been used individually in different houses.
     The years apart gave us different wear and an admixture strength and weakness.  A Fine smoothed finish polished by countless hands, yet Rough here or there, where kicked open or the small crack from when we stood firm against those of Ill repute who used without care.
       But when finally brought to the others side, Its obvious they were made to fit together from the start, that this is where each belongs.  Supporting one another and facing the world, Side by Side.
    To our Friends. ALL-WAYS  Open an our Ownself.., we allow our selves the privilege of accepting that we all have flaws and own is that we Dont deny ours.
Remember that while we apart gained and lost and so did they.  If you look we might need some sanding here or there. A bit of planing and joined in a couple spots. But .. We were always for eachother. Made to stand together each fiting the other a left and a right the same in their differences..complimet.
             - Alexander Hamilton 2018

In this position of service, you have relinquished all the power to me. As your most precious of vulnerabilities disappears into the warm cavern of my mouth, I hear the breath leave your body in a rush of pleasure.

Do you trust me? I think you must.

The taste of you is intoxicating and a hungry noise builds in my throat. As my tongue explores the ridges that intrigue me so, I feel you fidget with need - frustration. I want to ease your body the way you ease my heart.

You slide your fingers into my hair and pull me in.

The rhythm begins -
as old a the souls that first made them -
each stroke is natural but still new.

Time is no factor -
for hours or seconds
we are one in our mind and purpose.

You begin to move with me; anticipating the dance my mouth is leading.

Faster and faster -

a race to ecstasy.

Forward and back

In and out

Back and forth

Short and long

Slow and quick

I know it’s close. My eyes are watering with the pain of your fingers in my hair and my own need to feel the end.

The cliff is here and your movements falter. You cry out my name as I feel you swell in my mouth.   I pull you closer as your hot essence floods my throat. Your hand moves down to my neck where I know you can feel me swallow the love you give to no one but me.

It is everything. My heart beats in my ears, drowning out my muffled moans.

We float down together - dizzy with joy.

I lay my head on your thigh as you stroke my hair - breathing hard from the rush. Here, in this moment, is where I want to stay forever. Now and always, I am only yours.

29OCT2019

I awake in the early hours

birds singing

enjoying their feast

my hands exploring your body


Naked flesh on my fingertips

perfectly dreaming

about your touch

ever abandoned


Sleepy slumber dreaming of you

in loving embrace

interrupted dreams

with morning brew


These are the moments

I look forward to

Until the day you search for

my naked body on your fingertips

He Feels;
Sail away, my love,
To where the sea meets the sun,
Although we have parted,
The day will come

When together we meet,
After time absolute,
Makes the parts again whole,
The dress and the suit.

Your life was my own
Our joy it has passed,
But the light still shines on
And the love it still lasts.

She says:
Take care my sweet partner
Your life is to lead,
Don’t mourn me to long
As you must proceed

To take care of our loved ones,
family and friends,
Through life’s ups and downs,
Its potholes and bends.

Look for the good!
Make sure to have fun!
Do not be afraid!
To love another one.

The recognition:
I will not forget you,
Of which I am sure,
But I have another life,
For which to prepare.
So, I look forward with hope,
I’ll leave you to rest,
I learned to love with you
For that, I am blessed…

Tell me, I want to know
Tell me about the moments that made your hands shake
Tell me about the first girl that kissed you dizzy
And the first person to make your heart break

Tell me about all the places you want to see
And about your favorite music, color, and flavor of tea

Tell me about all the special things in your life, what you want
And what you wish for in your future wife

Tell me about how you wish you had all the time
And who you want to be from strangers to she-is-mine

Tell me about the goodbyes that hurt the most
About all the achievements you are proud of
And the thing that you love to boast

Tell me
Because out of all the people who come and go
You are still the only one I wish to truly know