it's raining, it's pouring
it's four in the morning
the thunder rings as the man is snoring
it wakes him up and out of bed
till he slips and hits his head
there was no real warning
when he falls and the sheets turn red
it won't be long and he'll soon be dead
his family will be in mourning
but for now, they won't see
that he has gone missing
how long will his body wait
will it begin to dissipate
all we know is it's too late
to say those final goodbyes
no matter how hard they try
they can not turn back time

It’s much easier not caring
About anything really
I wish I didn’t
I cared too much unfortunately
I’d be more free than I am
More upbeat, more happy
Living is easy with eyes closed
So leave me alone
I’m only sleeping
I’m putting up walls
I prefer to hide away
Cuz I took a risk a few times
Like a fool
All alone on a hill
Where I can see everything
But they don’t see me
No contact
I don’t want to look
Sometimes I want to disappear
Leave people with the memories
Of me in this moment
Or moments past
Go to the wilderness
Free as a bird
But I’ve learned once
It’s the next best thing to be
I wish I never experienced
The best feeling in the world
Wipe my memory of you
A clean slate
Leaving smudges
Take me away sweet song
I’ll cry anyways
I still feel the void
Cold and familiar
And through the absence
Leaving behind a sense
Of something warm and calm
It creates the most pain
Slowly decaying, withering away
Eroding the walls and revealing
My emotions of you

-AJT

Today is one of those days
where I could weep any minute.

Where it feels as if my soul has been laid bare,
and anything can touch it.

The thought of you not being here
to comfort me in these times,
makes it almost unbearable.

How I wish to see you on the other side.

I remember so much that I wish I could forget.  

This is a poem about Psalm 23 choked out through tears.  
This is a poem about astro vans and
                                      tractor lawn mowers and
                                      driveway car washes and
                                      small garden spaces and
                                      digger wasps and
                                      three wolves and a moon.  

This is about the Backstreet Boys and
                              Def Leppard and
                              Kenny Chesney.  
“Dreams” by The Cranberries.

About waterparks and
            swim lessons and
            the smell of chlorine.  
Fresh cut grass.  Bonfire smoke permeating through the house.  

Grey diamond tiles on white linoleum.  
                                                                Hands clenched down on washcloths.

Muddled.  It’s all so muddled.  Stuck beneath
                                                           brain­ matter and cerebrospinal fluid and
                                                              down, down, down beneath the lake.  
How can I dig it out while also digging it down deeper?  
I want to forget it all.  No memory, no pain, no ******* problem.  

Goldfish life: a pipedream.

Moment to moment
Hour to hour
Day to day
The rest of a lifetime.
A bouquet of flowers
from a passer by
extends this moment to an hour
Hopefully longer soon

I’m missing how it used to be
How you’d seek me out like a little puppy
The sparks flying between us like fireworks
Anticipation building as we engaged in conversation

Then it finally happened on a steamy summer night
The curiosity we had about our bedroom manners
Discovered in an instant moment of gratification
Our bodies tangled as mouths and tongues tasted one another

But as expected things fall apart
We’ve slowly morphed into distant acquaintances
You pay me a visit only when you need to vent
As I listen in silence about the woman you love and hate

Laying wide awake in my bed
Thoughts of you take me over
Pleasing myself at the thought of your mouth
Gifting wet kisses to that sweet spot

You can’t deliver your message to my face
That this short lived connection was just that
Ceasing your exploration of me and my body
Our association has reached its final stop

autumn reflections
wrinkled leaves wrinkled faces
mourning dead leaves




Mark Toney © 2021

Oh such sorrow upon mornings
break soaks my pillow with
tears of grief.

Darkness vails what I
seek but patients and
company of others softens
the shadows and brings the
light of hope.

My mind wonder’s upon
the possibilities of release
from this doomed existence
that can be so bleak.

It is of heavenly design,
and faith.

To grieve is to know love,
to be released by emotional
stress, its to be freed from
the minds caged thoughts,
seeking meaning.

Ode to grief an unwanted
friend to many.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton