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Rosé Jan 8
My mother yelled the other day
"Take a shower, brush your teeth-"
"Wash your clothes and listen to me!"
"Please do the dishes before you anger me!"

Yet concrete forces me down to my bed
Chains wrapped around my heart instead
Moving a limb is an impossible feat
Pure numbing pain crushes me

This feeling curled in my bones annoys me
As it did when I was only 6 and untrusting
Lies sprouting and sharp as from a garden
If only I could say, "Hey stop it."

My mother yelled at me today
"I gave you love and gave you strength-"
"I wiped the tears you spilled on rainy days!"
"If not for me you would have been left with no one you see?"

The love you gave wasn't until you had to show face
I got strength but from the way my childhood caved
The tears you wiped was when people died
Even when you were "there" I had no one by my side.

My mother sobs tears with rage
"Things you've done affect others as well-"
"It breaks my heart I couldn't help,"
"I'm sorry I didn't notice you weren't well."

Mother of mine why can't you see?
I just want a hug and cuddles- listen please.
I didn't have childhood but please forgive me
Sorry oh sorry for hurting you so.

Please just let me go.
Yeah... me and mother have a strained relationship ngl..
Cloudisse Nov 2024
These are two words which are completely foreign to me.

What is a mother? What is a father? How do they both act? I have not only been deprived of their significant meanings and experiences, but defiled also.

I am plagued with Mommy issues, Daddy issues. Anything at all relevant to something paternal, forcefully and painfully stirs something inside me.

I wish to squirm and break away from such a topic. It hurts.

Envy? Yes. But I know it is futile to wish and be other children with healthy families.

Everything Is Worldly.
Kitt Sep 2023
Somewhere between eggshells and landmines
Were the creaking floors upon which I played
Carefully, for her wrath could be detonated
At a footfall, just a bit too heavy
From a word uttered under the breath
A mess left too long in the sink.

But her embrace was warm,
Wrapping around me like sheets from the dryer
And when she put on pause her own life
To tend to me at my sick-bed,
Her eyes showed only tender love.
“My baby goat,” she would say, affectionately,
And leave a kiss upon my feverish brow.

She is a living contradiction, my mother:
Churning disapproval shattering the gleam
That she put into the hopeful eyes of a child
Just a moment before.
I lived in perpetual uncertainty,
Never knowing which mother I might see next:
The raven or the hen.

And now she looks at me with disappointment,
Wondering aloud why her children fear her.
Her capriciousness eroded away any trust
And much of the fondness as well
Her hot-blooded adoration
And her ice-cold tantrums
Have mixed so long now
All that is left is
Lukewarm like the bathwater
Left over from when the
Baby was thrown out.
nadine shane Feb 2023
i carry my mother’s rage
in every part of me;

i am never without it

i carry my mother’s rage
just like her mother did,
and just like her mother also did


if destruction is a form of creation,
then my mother
was never an inventor.
melissa Dec 2022
i find myself reflecting on my girlhood
what should’ve been
i grieve the girl i could’ve been
if these addiction genes didn’t flow so steadily
like an unwavering whirlpool
it wasn’t your fault your mom didn’t care for you
but why couldn’t you care for me
we all have  ways to cope
mine is taking pen to page
yours was needle to arm
i grieve for the girl you should’ve been
for the mom you could’ve been
riri Feb 2021
daddy why don't you love me anymore
you know mom never did
it's almost as if you're dead
yet you're still alive
you can't protect me from her insults anymore
because now, you're the one going along with it
dad i miss you.
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