I still miss you sometimes.
But sometimes,
Sometimes is all the time.

His eyes.
One glance from Him started a fire in me that I wished not to put out.
Burn.
I wanted to burn.
One touch from Him eased my restless mind,
I unraveled in His arms.
My once guarded heart unshackled itself from the prison I enslaved it.
He was my castle. My stronghold. My fortress.

Time.
1,000 years would not be nearly enough time with Him.
I wanted to devour Him every second of every day.
His scent replaced the air I breathe.

He knows not of my love.
What I feel can never be put into words.

Although I wanted to scream as loud as humanly possible. I love you. You. You brilliant, magnificent, mystical, devastatingly beautiful, irresistible, captivating man you. I love you.
But my lips fell silent.
I wonder if He knew.
I wonder if He could feel my thoughts caressing his soul.

His heartbeat.
I miss His heartbeat.
That's when I felt the closest to Him.
In that stillness.
Feeling his chest rise and fall, His heart singing my favorite lullaby.
I long for it now.

More than anything.

The first time I said I love you was on January 30th of 2015
It was just a short two months
I wished it would've been longer

I remember the first night
You held me
I remember the way you brought me to your room
Grabbed my hand
Grinned

I read the poems I gave you aloud
The first time you kissed me it felt like fireworks
You told me you loved me

Valentines day
The greatest valentines day I've ever had
I read your card so many times it made me cry
I remember feeling so bad because my sister wouldn't give you a ride
But you reassured me it'd be alright
And at that time I kissed you harder than any other time before

The day we broke up
although it happened quite a few times
was one I'd never forget
I cried so hard

I think about you now
Everyday
I think about the way fireworks exploded when you kissed me
I think about the vanilla scent I used to love so much

I still ******* miss you, and I'm trying to move on but you won't let me

It's happening again
I thought it stopped, why won't it stop?
Where are you?
You're supposed to be here
To pick up the phone when I call
To tell me that everything will be okay
That you'll take care of me
To say, "Pack your things, I'm on my way."
You're supposed to be here
To see how messed up I am
My face puffy from crying so much
My hands shaking from fear
To run out of the car and pull me close to you
To wipe away my tears
You're supposed to be here
To take me to your place and call it ours
To let me hold onto you
The only stable thing I've ever known
The one thing I can call mine
To kiss me until I'm no longer numb
You're supposed to be here
To lay beside me while I cry into you
To play with my hair until I fall asleep
To say, "I'll love you forever. To infinity and beyond."
You remember that right?
To infinity and beyond...
Where are you?
You're supposed to be here

I was complete
come back
You swept me off my feet
come back
I can't breathe

My lungs are concaving
come back
I know we're worth saving
come back
I'm breaking

You've left your mark
come back
Etched into my soul, so deep, so dark
come back
You were always my favorite form of art

Music doesn't sound the same
come back
I read between lines of pain
come back
They all seem to whisper your name

My world is a colorless black
Taylor
Fill this emptiness with one simple act
Taylor
Please come back

I've gotten used to
not being with you every day.
I've gotten used to
no good morning text messages.
I've gotten used to
you being so far away.
But never will I get used to
*missing you.

My sketchbook is getting damp from the spray
It's a torrent unleashed as
thunder rolls
Midnight black stripped in hot flashes of punctuated amens
Rounds of sounds of liquid laughter shake in the atmosphere
Lyrical clapping voices arise
Millions of drops on millions of leafy palms uplifted
The canopy dances
now in a roaring delight
I hear a waterfall singing your name
because you're missed most intensely in these spaces of awe
Yes
You can
Be
with
me
You are

Have you ever loved someone
with your body and soul
would do anything for them, in a heartbeat
just them being around is enough to help you soundly sleep,
But life soon happens and it drives you apart
but nothing and no one can fill that space, that hole, buried into your heart.
You know you should move on, but can't let them go
why do you care so much Nero? I really don't know.

Well, my birthday is coming up soon again,
I'll be 19 and spend the day with two of my friends,
but there's only one thing I want this year,
just the chance to say that I love you so much, and I want you here,
just to hold you tight and never let you go
to kiss you like a madman, on those lips and cheeks white as snow
That's really all I want this year, just you nothing else
can't anybody see this? can anybody help?