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Thou art a gnashgab mewling wretch,
Thy face doth like a codfish stretch!
Thou art a boil-brained muck-sprout,
A maggot-pie with addled snout!

Thou fustilugs, lily-livered mumblecrust,
Thy wit hath gathered quite some dust.
Thou art a motley-minded lout,
A hedge-born knave without clout!

Thou art warped and wayward sock-knocker,
A cumberworld, a scobberlotcher.
A flibbertigibbet, saddle-goose fool,
Who'd lose a battle with a stool!

Thou art a shrivel-headed apple-john,
A dalcop, pribbling bobolyne!
Away, thou canker-blossomed pest,
With thou weather-worn poorly-mannered jest!

©️Lizzie Bevis
This poem was inspired by my daughter who was giggling at Medieval insults, I think that it is safe to say that old English insults were quite colourful!

A modern English translation for those left scratching their heads!

Medieval Mud Slinging

You are a grumbling, moaning rascal,
Your face stretches like a codfish!
You are a stupid, foul mouthed,
Maggot pie with a muddled snout!

You are a clumsy, cowardly fool,
Your wit has gathered quite some dust.
You are a muddle-headed ruffian,
A low born scoundrel without influence!

You are warped and greatly perverse,
A burden, an idle person.
A chatterbox, a simple fool,
Who'd lose a battle with a stool!

You are a shrivelled apple head,
A foolish, prattling idiot!
Away, you canker infested pest,
With your tiresome, ill-mannered wind up!

I hope that you enjoy reading this poem!
captured by these traitorous shadows have i been,
haunting sounds have begun to sow
a fiend of mine must it be thought i
for this crimson stain is from one long i've known

captured by these traitorous shadows have i been,
for so weary these limbs have become
so brittle these bones have become
so lame this soul hath become
so lost this mind hath become

captured by these traitorous shadows have i been,
thy glistening eyes hath begun to glow
as these flowers have halted to grow
and the wind hath halted to blow

and ask i...

hath the blood dried where i fell?
ere mine is this to plow my tears
to be freed from you, mine fiend?

and alas, sensed was i...
for thy cold yet burning arms held me close
it was thou, the moon-
the one and only who doth gaze down below unfaltering to plunge in and drown with me in these puddles of tears
and hold mine hands
to keep the both of us aloft

-boonthemoonluv
Davis J Posey Sep 14
Ensembles grace your halls
But your voice is enough for me
For you they throw grand *****
But we could sit quietly as can be
If you are a Queen
Then I am the Jester
Fiercely I try to wean
But how would I sequester
dread Sep 10
The dish served cold, but with what pretense?

I am in the dark and cold, I've left the desire to be bold,
I am and will lie in wait here, even until I am old --- to see you.

Your back, my malicious place, my new home,
I wish I didn't need this blade, so my wrists could undo your form
beginning at the ribcage. How I wish to dispel this rage.

The structure guarding me from doom, holding my visage
in oblivion's place. This friend gives me the ultimate weapon,
and the greatest devastation you will not face.

Your armour, reflecting moonlight, my hunger has become thirst.
That shield, for what purpose gave it you the sky, such deception,
I understand from this place.

The steed, galloping, taking, puncturing fate for your impending, never-ending doom...my guardian of certainty, my knowing beast under mine enemy's line.

I raised you, but to die. Oh, inkling, minuscule minor thought, developing into this moment so grand.

Brace, you cannot...I will bless thee with the duty but to rot. Your future days are of paradise, and I witness from this kingdom until you come.
Hark and Come Hear Ye Here
Ye loyal subjects of the king
Reports from the borders of our principality
warn of a gruesome pestilence spreading unseen,
This devilish scourge of affliction is Coming!
Beware of the telltale signs of corruption
In the countenance of those under siege of this heretofore unknown malady.
It has been documented
by trusted physicians that certain aspects of one’s physiology
Will present themselves shortly
before the fever of madness and fear
Takes control.
Take Heed of thy neighbors
Behaviors and be wary of
Changes occurring in regards to
Their normal routine.
If boils or bleeding of orifices be
Witnessed report the citizen to the nearest authority
Once the outward expression of the putrification is upon them, it is but a fortnight until they succumb to the terrible fate of mortality. Those most beset by the pox of this plague are without exception in a state of aggravated nervous disorientation. Keep safe, keep your distance, and warn others around you of such individuals afflicted, lest ye contract the pox, for there is as yet no alchemical remedy

Be wary of these ghouls wandering the streets
Muttering manically, wreaking of decay, flailing and gnashing their teeth in a rage.
If one of the accursed creatures approaches, It is a mortal encroachment ye must evade.
Make right with the lord and keep the faith, our souls stand for judgment, ensure yours will be saved.

Take heed of these warnings here given this day.

They are not to be ignored if you wish to survive
12-27-23

For decades I’ve had this internal fantasy that I’m a bearer of the plague, not patient zero but on of the early infected, a vector of an unknown catastrophe. I got really sick. This was a fun thing. (Not being sick, writing a silly poem)
Oculi Aug 2021
Low down in the dirt and silt,
Buried hatchet, blade and hilt,
Armor without sparkling gold,
Body taken o'er by mold.

'Tis the flesh and blood of him,
Ignatius, whose body dim.
But mind so sharp it cut through tin,
Forgotten now by all his kin.

Forgotten by himself, as well,
All't remains; the bronzen bell.
That rang when beastly men he fell
And sent nations to fiery hell:

He died not as he lived before,
Not on the fields of battle evermore;
Killed, he was, by a simple thing:
A mind destroyed by a ceaseless ring.

And thus, all that remains are the corpses,
The blood and gore, the slain forces.
And a man who could not be destroyed,
Lest it be by his own body.

But we shant forget the legacy
We shall compose a threnody
For to forget is but heresy
Remember our simple knight.
I wrote this, after weeks of thinking about it, in memory of one of my friends. He was one of the strongest people I knew, and a great friend, taken all too soon by cancer. Rest in peace.
The last line's abruptness is on purpose, as I think it befits the way he left us.
Chris Saitta May 2021
I failed to love round, but fallen flat,
My head slumps down, over an ancient map,
My eyes roll back, over the mappa mundi verge,
Where waterfalls purl, and the sea serpent-sleep lies curled.
Mappa mundi are surviving Medieval maps of the world that often depicted sea monsters and dragons.  In spite of a common belief, most educated Medieval classes did not think the earth was flat (known as the Flat Earth myth) nor did most scholars from the classic Greek period on.  Similarly, no old world map contains the exact phrase “Here Be Dragons” to connote uncharted territories, though dragons and sea monsters often allegorically depicted the same.
Winnalynn Wood Apr 2021
The riders gleaming golden saddle
Hides the swirling, eternal battles

Fought within the bravest minds
Surfacing amongst the worst times

Laid bare to eyes they’ll never be
Imaginations one will never see
I wrote this to describe moments of anxiety that can be too much and overwhelming
Svetoslav Apr 2021
Here our soldiers stand.
Waiting in a line to hear the battle cry
She is ready to lead her warriors to victory.
Sounds of warcries fill the air in the icy Northrend.
From distant lands, lots of new races are there to ally
This is the place where they will make history.
A history for new generations to remember
An ember in the ashes of dark ages
The time is finally here.

Thousands of undead flow upon her army
She doesn't flinch, while rallying the human flag.
"Freedom is here! It is in our heads and our hearts, Raise your hands for victory is near." She said.
****** battle took place, as the undead warriors decreased faster than her warriors

At the next moment they won, it was a small step for them,
but a giant leap for mankind
Everyone was celebrating...
Then, out of nowhere a traitor stabbed her in the back. She sadly couldn't make it, and she embraced the black. Her sacrifice brought a new page in the history of the kingdom of Agerron.
21 lines, 177 words
If you are curious, know that Northrend is a continent in Warcraft 3, and the undead a race there. Also the kingdom of Agerron is made by me and my friend for the game.
Svetoslav Feb 2021
Walls of antiquity covered in green plants,
while hidden treasures are waiting to be found.
Rocky road leads every interested person
to uncover this mystery of history.

That's the Green castle,
sculpted by talented architects
millenniums ago will still remain stunning
in the eyes of the passer by for the rest to come.

With fields of tulips and a golden sunset,
piercing the flags of grass of the sunny gate
and solid foundations clung to the bowels of earth,
the castle changes its shades through the seasons.
Translated from Bulgarian
by Svetli
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