I don't want to spend anymore time alone.
I am so ******* tired of being alone with my thoughts.
I am so angry at nothing and anything.
I fear that I am unlovable.
I am scared that my mind will betray me.
I just want to feel safe.
I need someone good in my life.
But I don't deserve it.
I'm just damaged goods.

Jaded.

The feeling you end up with after pulling life's layers apart,
staring into the abyss
and drink your fill
of a reality you could neither foresee,
plan for or rectify.

Jaded.
Being left in a state of disillusionment, your hopes and dreams nought but dust.
The spectres of others' lives and happiness
gnaw at your soul, etching away at your precious delusions

While the flames of passion freeze in your mind,
I’ll be wrapped behind you, cloaked in the sins of the flesh.
Jaded whispers of lustful promises filled with deceitful gazes,
I offer you not sanity, but madness.
Always beside you but never there,
my presence is the churning chaos of scars long lost forgotten.
I play upon your innocence, crushing it in my grasp,
I feed your existence the fermented embryo of society.
Your screams are in vain; I am you: a cocoon manifested from your decayed tears.
A memory surfaces to a mirrored abyss, reaching but never grasping.
Allow the jagged ice to crawl across your skin, inching, creeping, crystalizing a self you once believed in.
I claw at your chest, burning, burning, burning, the existence of your past is frail.
I feed upon your weakness.
Feeding you ******* Sins off Diverged Tongues

You’re being replaced with other attention now.
I’m finally talking with other women.
I realize now that you were a huge section of my time at one point.
That’s what made us a couple.
It’s when I left the country and our talking faded into small chats
And then arguments, stress, conflict.

I’m jaded by our divorce.
It makes me have little hope of another marriage.
It even makes me not want to spend time on trying to make another one.

But I might only be kidding
Since I’m really just waiting for my new friend to message me back.
New relationships have so little webbing it’s hard to tell if they exist.