Your sick incarceration
held against a shining will
‘til unmoored you walked

a light you couldn’t see,
that lifted others,
dimmed

each step seeming free
with inexorable gravity
drew to the woods

your last embrace
brought cold release
and all our griefs became

I can fix this.
I’m always so terrified

That I will fall from the sky
And my wings will snap
Helpless to medicine and hope

Icarus and I (fall from the sky)
We burn
Chasing sunlit warmth
Suspended by devices devised of self-preservation
Crumbling before our eyes
That we can’t hold together anymore

These devices are needless

Let go and hold on

Trust the fall

See how I fly.

Putting together a patchwork home
Watching the water carve out the stone
Getting much better at being alone
Because I’m not.

Not broken but not fixed yet.
And I know now that hurting is healing
And I see the world pass on below me
And I won’t fall

So I soar.
I have fallen before.
I am still
Despite of not because.

I will fall.
And I will fly.

Crash landing,
I kiss the Earth.

AFTEr
           noon
           is home,               again

          its bEEn a     l o    n     g
          day

         of lunch breaks
traffic
                                      swimmers
   ­                                   at
                           ­           the beach and children
                                      ,  singing school's over


bright pink clouds come ROLLIng
                                                      in,­ she hangs
                                      her scarf upon the nail

and climbs the stairs. ..


                                     (please sleep through
                                      the night
                                     )/middle daughter
        of }perfe}ct
                                    w
                          ­          o
                                    R
               ­                     l
                                    d   s

this NIGHT
⠀⠀⠀ is d%issolvin.g⠀(in
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀to)(
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀ 1}
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀ 2} a harsh han⠀⠀d of          v
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀i
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀g
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀­⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀o
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ r,
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 3}
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
]: radium⠀⠀b i r⠀ d⠀⠀⠀s
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀*****
⠀⠀⠀⠀the
⠀⠀⠀⠀water's
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀­⠀⠀⠀⠀ fresh coat of painted
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ night
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
a c/ross
⠀ the skin oF a ) kissless converSation
concerning
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀a
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ car failing
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀to
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ use a
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀turn signal
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ while changing⠀l a⠀n⠀ e⠀⠀s

⠀⠀⠀⠀ the            is
⠀⠀⠀ void            filled
⠀between⠀⠀⠀⠀ neatly
⠀⠀⠀ each            with
⠀⠀ breath⠀⠀⠀⠀ each
⠀⠀⠀⠀ life⠀⠀ ⠀   ones
⠀⠀⠀takes⠀⠀⠀⠀ dreams,
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀love

rains
tenderly blot
out our attempts
to remember
the
torn edged⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀moments
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ as sunny days
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
when they were not
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ world,
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ quill up
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ our
⠀⠀⠀                           ⠀sensibilities
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ muddled
⠀⠀⠀⠀    choking sunrises have
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ promise, too

(there are)
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ times
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ oh baby,
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ that you will wake up
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀a
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀n
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀­⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀d
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
want. to love the
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀w
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀o
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ r
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ l
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀d
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
and- some days everything is ****.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀i
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀know
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀...
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀­⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀well remember,
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀this and the
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀(most) black
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀night
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀will
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀end
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀­⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀w
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀h
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀e
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀n⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀you want it to

one cut
two cut
three cut
four
i watch the blood drip from my wrists to the floor

five cut
six cut
seven cut
eight
the blood flowing and rushing makes me feel faint

nine cut
ten cut
eleven cut
twelve
cut for a little then cry some more

thirteen cut
fourteen cut
fifteen cut
sixteen
the blood is starting to show through my jeans

seventeen cut
eighteen cut
nineteen cut
twenty
pain is the only thing i feel

fifty-nine
seventy-six
eighty-three
ninety-nine
i'm starting to lose track

one-hundred
i've finally decided to end it all and pick up the gun