love looks different now
it is overgrown
and tiny goodbye kisses enough to save a singular feeling of necessity but lacking the passion I crave so badly

this isn’t what I had imagined
going to bed alone each night
and waking up to goodbyes.

will it be like this forever?
making silly plans for our silly life together
never quite feeling like we’re doing enough

never quite feeling like I’m enough

and feeling guilty because I’ll never get quite enough

there’s not enough intimacy or romantic gestures or cuddles in the gloomy hours to fill me up

my glass is never overflowing
it’s always half empty or shattered on the floor.

I unravel us,

paralysed you are waiting --


until it's over.

Are you coming, today
I like to look at you again
laugh with you
and listen to you

Come, walk around
in my house, let me
look at you, the step aside
the tension of your buttocks

and your lips
that will kiss me
your hands that are allowed
to do everything I long for

I will not ask too much from you
you don't have to commit yourself
not for longer than I live
not to what you fear

You don't have to take care of me
just leave me alone
when I'm sick
It's enough

that you think of me

the mutual tenderness
between us
feels nice
even if its fleeting

fingers intertwined
shared laughs
tugs on the hems
of cotton tshirts

adjusting the radio volume
in your car
squeezing the dish soap from sponges
in your sink
peeling back the sheets
in your bed

moments feel intimate and infinite

Let this hymn beneath an ebony sky
Be the breath of angels upon our skin.
A song of scripture and silence
written upon your body and mine.
My head upon your breast on this night and your lips upon my mind.
Our breaths swirling like a sacred fragrance
are everything I need to know of love.

We made love in your room that day
Light pouring through the window
A neighbor played "Stand by me"
Music travelling over from the  next door