giving up

isn't an option

when you want to go home.

you've got to fight,

you're going to cry,

you're going to hurt,

time after time after time,

you're going to have to sacrifice,

and give and give and forgive,

and forgive and give and give,

you're going to bleed,

drop by drip by drip,

you're going to have your heart,

ripped to shreds,

over and over and over,

and even when

you think

you're finally numb

the feelings will come back

in waves upon waves

you will never be left to rest

in this world.

test upon test,

will occur,

until it's your time to leave,

and may you leave in the best

and the most beautiful

and painless of ways.

may you find peace,

comfort and happiness,

may you find your way home,

may it be everything you wished,

wanted, and more ~

I've had an unsettling
Feeling since 2 am
A bit frustrating
Your love is dissipating

I woke up with a thought
And a wretched feeling
Through my gut
I think I'm ******

You're in my arms
I have you close
And it might cause me harm
But for now I enjoy your charm

I hope it's not fake
Your words and actions
But I know you lie
That makes me quake

Don't waste my time
Because my heart
It's on the line
And I'm just in line

To try and call you mine
I wish I was first
But that's just fine
Just don't make me out to be a swine.

All I want
Is love and light
  I want arms to hide in
   and lips to kiss mine

Just fathom for a moment, someone actually understanding what you want to be heard.
Having someone nod or smile at the fact that they have the same issue or looking at some painting and feeling the same emptiness and sadness as you do.
Just that the mind can comprehend such a fact that someone else could understand such a disaster of a title wave.
Everything that was left behind, they saw the same wreckage as you.

How do you do it?
Tell someone that even during waking day
She's all you ever think about
That when she's right there with you it doesn't even feel like you're dreaming
And no, it's not like that
I have dreams of moonlit beaches where we make small talk until you just laugh and say
"Wake up, the moon has to go away. It's morning time my sweet."
You say "I'll see you tonight, tommorow or whenever next we meet."
I dream of streetlamps lighting up park benches where we've met for the first time about 17 seperate winter nights just in this past july
Last night we had dinner, the conversation was lovely
It started with some awkward smiles deeply laden with sincerity,
It moved on to telling each other about the other, and we left with a brief squeeze of the hand.
That's all I've ever gotten, and I'm quite content with that
So the stage is set, not sure what the play is we're set to see
But she picked it, I'm sure it'll be wonderful
You have a different name tonight, just like you always do
The ballerina's where intoxicating
their grace was Endless
as they swam through the air
I felt like a trespasser, struggling to breath
When we left that night however, our goodbyes were more distant
It's been getting more and more like that recently,
I recall a night some ten years ago
I could have sworn I remembered your face
for almost 3 hours after I begrudgingly woke
But no
Your shifting smile, and timeless eyes
I like to think that's because you're getting closer
And not because I'm a tad too late
Were you here already? And I just couldn't pick you out of the crowd?
You know trains in the city, awfully hard to focus
Or perhaps you know of horses and mountains
I'm not one to judge
I hope I see you tomorrow, I look forward to our night
To our day,
To our mornings and to what we'll say
But if you have to leave for good my dear, please just find a way
I have a P.O box you know
It's rather simple really
I just would love a photo of you,
to remember our night in Sicily
Or pick one of your favorites, they were all suitible
I'll check my mail every day
Waiting, hoping
That I can see your face.