I know him as a man
who doesn't have a heart
yet he could make me
love him so much
I give away mine
just so he has one

And,by the time
I know there's no love defined
Some of you find it in a beautiful face
Some in overwhelming flesh.
And,by the time
I know there's no love defined
Some of you find it in chiselled curves
Some just in alms.
Some of you play with organs
Some of you kind of ruthless heart.
But,I swear;over time time
I really discover
There's no love defined.-17.04.2016

The body count is high
If you piled them up they'd reach the sky
Of all the men that scorched me
But they where the last to plea
They made me cry
They hurt me, so they had to die

It was the only way
I left their bodies lay
I destroyed their worlds
I made it all come unfurled
They made my darkness
I made them heartless

Get me out of this cesspool
I'm swiming in idiotic fools
How did I get surrounded by you heartless freaks
Why can't any of you think before you speak

You all tell lies with such great speed
That my ears are starting to bleed
And all my thoughts your starting to impede
Why the **** where you allowed to breed

If I'm made to stay here with you human waste
I fear my intelligence will soon be erased
With all your mindless yakety- yak
I'm begaining to think you all must all be on crack

I  am not afraid of my truth anymore
And I will not omit pieces of my gore
Just to make you a bit more at ease
I will say and do as I please

I am a black sheep
I am a freak
I am not that stable person you seek
My past and future reek

I meditate
I hesitate
I contemplate
I self medicate

I'm a complicated person
Of that I am certain
I am not whole
I lost my soul
I've grown cold
But thats the way it goes
When there are holes
Because of pieces stole

I'm not afraid of my truth
No need to become a sleuth
I confess, it started in my youth

A step dad that loved to much
His putrid touch
Years spent in his clutch

I am a black sheep
I am a freak
I am not that stable person you seek
My past and future reek

A heartless mother
That just smothered
One sister and two dead brothers
Agonizing events, one after another

Heartless men
Used and sinned
Life in a spin
Latter in life ***** again

Sanity gone
Done so wrong
Growing weak, no longer strong
Just part of my sad life's song
If I wrote it all, this poem would be to long

Somewhere around here,
There's a heartless *****.

Watch out for her

She's fine as ****.