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It's okay to not be ready. To want something but just not know if it's a good fit. Doing everything the right way also doesn't mean that it will all turn out perfect. Making such a permanent move can change your entire life. Is it worth it and will the change be painful? It's easy to stay in the same situation. The comfort of knowing what will happen everyday will keep a mind at ease. Yet, if change comes what will the day look like? The transition should be easy and without questions.  To live in fear of what could be equals emptiness. It could also leave one stagnant. The heart wants change but I'm just not sure.
Not sure, what happens next, is it worth it, is waiting okay? What if perfection never comes?
Last night Gary Facebooked me:
11:03 PM
"Can I ask you to be crazy with me?"
Gary said he had been flirting with this girl, May
for six months.
She wanted to see him in person tonight,
And he needed a ride.
Gary and I met 11 days ago.
Strangers brought together in the streets of Freeport by pokemon GO.
he spotted me holding my phone out from a mile away.
"Team Instinct?
Lightning cracked above us
as we cryed in harmony:

My knowledge of him consists of three things.

1. He works as a security guard
Is first responder for medical emergency
Tackles felons and escorts people with restraining orders.
plays it up like he's a security guard for something mysterious
He is a security guard for Wal-mart.

2. Gary buys peoples affection.
Throws his money aimlessly
Pointing at his trophies
Prooving he too is expensive

3. To Gary,
there is nothing better to do
from 12 - 5am
Than wander Looking for pikachu.
With me.
besides visiting this May.

"A taxi would be $80
but I'd rather pay that to you, Bro."

On the drive there,
He is Squeeing, Singing,
Flipping out.
"I've got knots in my stomach Bro."

Upon arrival,
He readily jumps from my car
"Go catch 'em Brock" I say.

When I get back to Freeport
he sends me a messege.
1:04 AM
I think she fell asleep waiting
I'm not inside yet."

I park my car in Freeport,
Finish catching a Weedle.
"I'm on my way, stay safe."

"Man I'm so down."
"She's not coming to the door Nick."
"I'm just gonna curl up on the ground and cry."
"I've called her 24 times"

He heavily thumps his backpack into my backseat
Slumps down into my car.

"There is"
"no shelter"
"the storm"
"In my heart."

We stare out the window.
At the two homeless men
With no teeth
That he didn't beat.
He's holding night vision binoculars
And a clean Knife.
"I'm sorry I got you involved, Nick
I asked you to be crazy with me."
"There is"
"No shelter"
"The storm"
"In my heart"
A Lopez Dec 2015
To some of my favorites-
Poets of course
I read your exquisites for appetite of my ears
I want to grow old with your writes
And **** your poetry

I have had robust days
And bust days.
I have felt heartbreak
And carbreak-

But still in my good
Or bad, happy
I always come back to reading what you both
N spire
Me with.
You two
Are hello
Not to mention other top favorites I could have a Christmas list with those.
Poetic T May 2015
The little vacuum was happy as could be, he was
Being treated to a trip where he had never been.

It was out side where the light was real, to feel the
Air on his hose, would it be sunny, cold, blustery.
Excitement was growing his cord extended with
Help of a friend the extension cord Barry.

So the door opened eager to see what could be seen,
Was the outside world all he had heard sites, sounds,
Smells, now he was cleaned regularly he could take
In the smells and sites he was about to see.

They stepped out side it was all he had dreamed no
Longer in the box time to play to be happy, there was
Big Garry the family car gave me a wink with the
Indicator when he saw me.

Time for a clean was spoken, As like me  not tidied up
Much, but now was his turn to smell fresh and clean,
Garry was big but not much older than me. Beep, beep
Went the horn, was that the neighbour couldn't be my
Car as I'm  not in the seat.

So we started to vacuum the mess was not the best but
Clean Garry would soon be, Then left alone as the phone
Rang, alone with Garry, then out of the corner I saw you.

Approached we were, I didn't like the look of this  person,
Specially as they had waited till we were alone. my Daddy
Told me never talk to those you don't know, as a stranger
Can be dangerous, not friendly.

He spoke saying hello who left you out here all  alone,
I hovered but could not be heard by my family, he was
Trying to take me where I wished  not to go, but I was
Not alone, I had my friend Garry.

Garry did honk his horn his alarm startled the stranger,
Running out, to what could be seen, saw  what was
Happening and came to protect me.

The police were called, flashing lights did I  see, told was
He never to leave alone things that are part of the family,
As strangers are danger don't you see, Gary was lucky
As no keys did he have on he.

So stranger danger we both learnt that day, never to be left
Alone for any time, as it only takes a moment to be lost to
Be taken by those that are not family.

*--This was the story of how a stranger should
Never be spoken to, or go with no matter what they
Promise to give. The only people to talk to are family
And the polite police men and woman who will get you
Back if left alone or lost away from family--
A couple sat embraced in the corner of the subway at 2 am,
They huddled together in their winter jackets,
Riding around to escape the bitter cold.
She had her legs in his lap and she leaned into him as if whispering a secret,
Her head was against his collarbone as she listened for agreement but was met with the steady hum of the lights overhead.
The moment was intimacy
So much so that it led to the question of how they had gotten to the point of being so intimate
On public transportation
And I felt as though it was something I had been interrupting.
But three stops later and they were off into the night at Grand Central Station.
I saw them again in late May
But now they stuck to just holding hands,
She rested her head in the same spot as last time though,
And they weren’t embracing, but the intimacy was present in the stifled giggles and stolen glances.
And forever was more than a promise,
It was a reality.
An Ekphrastic Poem (a poem about a piece of art, in this case a photograph by Gary Winegrand that was on display in the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City)

— The End —