the plants I use for trauma
are **** and aya
but the feds who are not aware of God who values Equity
think their 'views' are superior to the Torah
the Tanakh, The Old Testament and the Good Book.
God gave us all the herbs and all the plants
he created the seed
he created the sun
he created water
He is the God of the Hapless, the Widow, the Orphan
He is the God of Equity
who do the Feds/ Cops/ Gov think they are ??
to interfere with Gods laws?
I tried to get **** to get rid of my trauma
the ops that ***** me
made sure my **** was laced with Fetanal
No thanks
it does not stabalise my moods to spray a Sacred Healing Plant with noxious addictive and dangerous chemicals
It is infuriating being ripped off again, and again, and again, and again, again and again.
God never gave noxious chemicals in Genesis, he didn't create Fetanal or what ever 'rat poison' they sent this whistleblower
I do know how vice squad operate
they control vice
like Priests pimped kids who had 'fallen'
fallen meant they got ***** 'once'
so now they hoes....
God cried tooo
you would cry too
if it happened to you

Tech tonics and honesty following repeated offerings to beings I don't think, think that I belong anymore.
Not that it bothers me I'm used to feeding apologies to cretins who'd like to think they walk on water
I dropped the scene along with anyone I met that shed a tear or was met with fear at the thought of me in harm I think
I can't love again
And what's worse is that you couldn't care less
I'm not a monster, but you treated me just like the ones in your head, yet I told you things to doubt when you never should've
You had no business saying you loved me in the first
I fell after, I can't handle my emotions, thoughts, I've lost my confidence and I don't care enough to get it back.
Your now engaged to a guy you introduced me to. *******.
I wish I could even hate you, but I only hate myself. WHY.
I wish for death, or destruction, or cataclysm, or flood, or plague
I'm an empty vessel, ready to become
Undone.
Hooray.

i don't want to write
i want to bleed out
and water the daffodils with my crimes
i need to be cleansed by fire
and buried in the wet earth of my grief

i cannot breathe without your steady hand
pressing me awake
but i suppose i cannot breathe
when your ribs sit in front of me,
waiting to cracked open

do i reach into your chest cavity
and drink of your secrets?
for they do not fall from those lips i so freely kiss

i have waded through thick fog
with your fingers interlaced with mine
but perhaps i have blindly followed my own demise
holding the hand of a stranger

my mask lies on the floor at your feet
and still you ask me to the masquerade

this is not a castle,
though you were once my queen
jewels are heavy
i hope my broken heart was worth the price
of having the pieces inlaid in your crown

Drain me with your presence
And make my adrenaline spike up
You're still nothing at all
But a disappointment
So keep dawdling
Until you go brain dead
While you cut your purple skin
And cry

I've decided, firmly -
Today, a year later from when I knew you;
A year later from when I cried...
I've decided
That I don't want religious ****.

Now hold on - I know how that sounds.
"This ***** is gonna castrate me!
Or something," is what you probably said.
Don't worry, little altar boy.
I only use my machete for garden snakes
In my two inch back yard.

The nerve, the gall, the gumption,
To tell me in the sweetest way possible
That you'd prefer a subservient house wife.
You couldn't even tell me to my face -
It was second hand knowledge,
Passed along to me by my co-worker.

I bit the pink marker and ****** it dry of ink.
The False god stopped sending you love letters.
Boo hoo,
Poor you.

I'm not entitled to anyone's love, and especially not yours.
You came into my life like a bullet,
Which through the lenses of rose-colored glasses
Looked like a gentle butterfly.
The Cosmos - she was looking out for me.
She's seen too many limp men like you,
And saved me with the gravitational pull of the moon.

So once again,
For those in the back,
Who were too busy wooing Joshua Harris:
******* and your christian *****.

turn up the stereo, an old song plays;
I can’t help but smile while i feel the warmth run down my face.

confused how to feel,
was it all in my mind?

I can’t understand;
I no longer bother to try.

every night, every moment I spent;
giving my heart,
and a soft place for your’s to rest.

sacrifice here and sacrifice there;
there was no length that i would not have went.

vulnerability and trust- I surrendered to you;
yet, resentment and hatred are now what ensue.

the hate in my heart, too much to bear.
I want to let go, but I’m so ******* scared.

I have to move on; brighter days ahead.

so here’s my final “*******” because I’ll never forget: a mere five miles, from you, was too much to ask.

one last glimpse in the rear view;
I’m never turning back.