Brethren, now's the time of truth:
Good luck on finals

See her? With the impeccable taste in fashion?
She's top of her class in calculus. You probably didn't know that.
See him? With the fearless glint in his eye?
He's studying science, but he has the soul of a poet. Tests lie.
See her? Buried behind a stack of books nine tall and three deep?
She's terrified that she'll get a B, because, to her, that's failing.
See him? Museum-quality doodles and red ink decorate his papers.
He'll be president one day, if he can find something that he loves.
See me? No, actually you probably don't see me. Why would you?
I've managed to dangle from the rim of the outskirts of life so far.
Someone once told me that seeing gifts is a gift itself. Maybe it's true.
But, didn't they ever tell you that geniuses doubt themselves, too?
That we doubt ourselves most of all?

I've forgotten the last time I had to memorize
oh wait, it was today.
I memorized so I didn't have to plagiarize
and I plagiarized because I had no idea what to say.

instead of studying, I was out at play
breaking ankles instead of pencil tips.
made some gnarly 3 pointers, I might say,
all I could think about were my papercut lips.

the keyboard fights me with whips
I'm trying, I am really trying,
but I'm collapsing, like sunken battleships.
Well, at least I'm not dying.

Please let me leave

Mountains have risen up
that I created
by leaving my clothes in a pile
by tossing my responsibilities upon it
by heaping insult upon injury
by throwing caution to the wind
and by washing my mind down the drain.


Just let me leave

Too many times have I yearned to breathe
to inhale without holding back
to take it all in
to smell the roses
to take a deep breath....
and then breathe it out
blowing dandelions
letting it all out
exhaling without care.


Let me go.

I've given up on so many things I cared about
Too many of them were important
and now I have no excuses
except that I lost hope
and I thought I couldn't finish
and I believed it wasn't worthwhile
and the pain was too much to bear
and I didn't believe it would get any better.


Can I go home?

Finals week is taking its toll,
and nothing can make this better
except a big comfy bed
a mother's embrace in the morning
a hot cup of coffee in pajamas
tv shows I loved as a kid
brothers to goof around with
a smoothie when dad gets home.

I just want to go home.

**** oh ****
**** me
what the actual ****