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ab May 2018
i learned it before the subtlety of time meant me to

i don’t know who it was
who planted the seed
but i was a baby
acting like i was grown

in a world of forced skin
you were the catalyst
the cure for the summer heat
much to the chagrin of the other counselors

if you google “how to spot
grooming behavior” it was
you to a tee but i don’t think
you knew how bad it was

and neither did i, till i
applied your tactics a hundred
times. it made me the devil
the charred tongue of death

and i broke so many people
to dust before i knew what
dust was- i am only now
realizing that i thought love

was the tightening of grip
forced respect from older
boys who thought God was
a scam (you were the scam

who followed me home
weeknights and tagged
along on dates, you
disgusting ****, you should

have known better) at age
thirteen sometimes respect is
ignored when you get it from
high school boys (sometimes

he pops up again asking me
how i‘ve been and i don’t talk
because how do you tell them that
you had to start again from where

they ****** you over?)
~wow what did you do
Dresden May 2018
You're no longer the person I knew
Or the person I fell in love with
It breaks my heart to think that when the love between us ended
That was the last time I'd ever know you again
The moment it stopped you became a stranger
But worse than that, you were a monster
I was beyond close and intimate with you
We were walking side by side through life
Only for you to dump me
Nothing more than trash is how you treated me
And I hate what you became, the words you said to me
I fully hate who I am now and regret so much of my life
I lost my best friend
And I miss them
But they're dead and can never come back
**** do I miss them
What's wrong with me?
I just need someone to tell me it's going to be okay
Because my words are meaningless to myself
I just need someone else
I hope you never read this...I just need a new best friend.  But I can't even figure that out because I'm so ****** up.  I'm alone and want to die.  And everyone else is better than a piece of trash like me.  There will always be someone else more important.  Even in friendships.  I'm not special.  I'm not worth anyone's time.  My words are meaningless.  There's no point.
ella May 2018
you can't save me anymore
you can try
but you wont succeed
the only thing i've been successful in
is making me bleed
i'm useless
lost
broken
saving me is practically out of the picture
so for one last time
goodbye
this is the last time im going to try
try to die
try
Mel May 2018
Ends frayed,
We were unraveling.
Piece by piece,
Thread by thread,
We were becoming undone.

We never cut ties,
You just stopped.
But maybe that was because
Anything we ever had
Had already died.
Dresden May 2018
Going 90 in a 45
Trying to catch up to a world that's passing me by
Knowing that it's pointless
I'm nothing but a huge mess

I close my eyes
and couldn't care less if I died
Because if I did
I know I wouldn't be missed

I rely too heavily on medication to keep me sane
To keep me from seeing this reality
One day without and I feel nothing but pain
And I have no motivation to take it again

Why not just leave it all?
Why not just end it all?
Not one reason is strong enough to stop me
Life is ****
So **** it all
SeaChel May 2018
There's something about you
that still draws me in,
though maybe it's just remembering
how your lips tasted like sin.
There was the uncontrollable attraction
neither of us could deny,
but I've sobered up now
I'm no longer trapped in the high;

The false reality
that I created in my head
was just distraction,
like all those times in your bed.
Your tender touch
and sweet caress
were all just a ploy,
though you'd never confess.

Now I'm gone,
although you still try
to make me think you care,
but I won't fall for the lie.
I'm completely done with you now,
I'm over this strife,
so this is my spell
to cut you out of my life.
Words are more powerful than we think.
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