Sick and tired
Of myself
Never to you
Never us

Haru haru
It tasted bitter
So very bitter
Bitter us

No one
Nothing

Knew nor realising
Only mattress and pillows
Thru days and nights

This ain't bending
It's breaking

Beautiful sunny
Yet we felt cold
When it's winter
All you felt was hole

In the crowd
Wanting us

Not alone
Yet our hearts are lonely

Here
Now
Today

Wow being sober for such a short time...
and theres so much I want to do and want to try....
and theres no way anyone can change my reasoning to why...

I want to help others who are worse off....or help animals who get abandoned by their owners and are dumped off...
I want to find a job that is world  changing..
to be of service and start alittle piece of the mending...

But I know I can only take small steps and not get over whelmed or it will all fall apart...just take my time and enjoy life and all it has to offer and learn to enjoy things like beautiful art....

its scary but fun ....just seems like life has had to restart.

On the brink of mental collapse
And I wish that I would
Or that I could just relapse
Back to a mask and a hood
A smoke filled mind
Apathy as perfection
Leaving the rest behind
Cleaned out like an infection
Washed away with relief
My wounds are stinging
As I sill hold some belief
That somewhere bells are ringing
Though I have forgotten why
I continue to ponder
Or even continue to try
As back into darkness I wander
To search for happiness unknown
Or contentedness I've never been shown