I am standing still as a rock curled up on the floor shaking back and forth. I am overreacting in response to your underreaction and something in my body just doesn't feel right anymore. A piece of me is angry that you dared to have this much control over me. Why were you trusted with a sword you didn't know how to use? Because these wounds are leaking blood and staining the new clothes I'm wearing for you. My underwear is covered in pictures of your favorite fruit that will never taste the same again.

I am trying to rationalize your behavior. I am making up excuse after excuse for you and I am disgusted with myself. It was you who put me in this situation and it is all your **** fault which is why I am to blame. I didn't know that nothing was strong enough to break glass, but here I am shattered after your lack of words struck me. Who do you think you are, because apparently I know nothing about you.

It was so subtle that I almost missed its hands wrapping around my throat. My face was blue by the time your rejection had sunk into my skin, pins and needles over every bit of flesh. I was changed in an instant.

You don't miss me back.

That knowledge bouncing back and forth inside of my skull on a Monday night. And maybe you were tired or maybe you were stressed or maybe you were revealing the truth to me, finally, releasing your feelings, or lack there of for the first time. Wasn't I so lucky to be there for your debut? I can feel ants crawling around on my heart and they must be hungry because they keep biting away miniscule pieces of me that I guess I didn't need.

You mean so much to me but I must be meaningless. I am breaking down and apparently you couldn't care less. You never told me you didn't love me, you never told me you didn't miss me, I had to figure that one out for myself, you never told me I was nothing, but that is how I am feeling.

And soon you will have to see my face and I will get to look upon yours and we will be together. My soul will be screaming out at you, demanding to know what changed, but my lips will not make a sound. I am silent and it has always been my greatest weakness, well, until I fell in love with you, anyway. All of this pain, yet I won't have a word to say. I am trapped here wondering what way it will go. Most of me doesn't even want to know. It's only a matter of days and even after all of this, I still manage to miss you, but

You don't miss me back.

depression is never blue, nor gray,
nor black and white;
it is seeing colors for what they are
dissolving into one another,
creating beautiful montages
of vivid details...

but their beauty is never
a sight to behold,

you just look past them.

Thoughts in a Garden
               *
Crimson glow of the morning sun                           
 Along the rosy horizon                                           
Set ablaze the floating clouds
With edges embroidered
In flaming gold,
Ushered in a brilliant dawn.
Sunbeams on the mountain slopes                     
Uncovered valleys verdant and
Gurgling streams:
Darting rays through gnarled
                                         trees
Adorned with foliage of emarald
                                         green,
Illumined the serene garden
                                        scene.
Genial warmth of the morning
                                            sun
Opened rows and rows of white      
                                        jasmine
And filled the air with fragrance
                                           sweet
While mother nature sprinkled
Smiles in a shower of roses
Of delicate hues.
Hummingbirds and honey-bees
Hovered over colourful flowers
Big and small.
Shy flowers,like blushing brides,
 Allured passersby to pause
A while and admire their beauty
And bewitching smile.
Basking in sunshine under
The azure sky and stretching
On grass in chequered shades,
My questioning mind
Probed in vain,
The enigma of nature's creation,
Its amazing harmony
And violent ire
And the aim of evolving human
                                               life:
Eager to grasp what the future
                                             holds,
Indulged in reveries undisturbed, oblivious of
Fortune's ebb and tide
Until twilight showed
The early stars
And the evening shadows
                   looming large,
Restrained my restless mind.
In darkness dissolved
                      the lovely scene.
Soon, the vision of rapture
Was a waking dream:
A foretaste of life merging
With the cosmic stream!
              **.  M.G.N.Murthy
Hyderabad, India.
                                   
                      ­                    

                                           ­ 
                                         







               ­                          


                                    ­          




                                        



                                            
                   ­                          
                                      ­        
          



.

i have taken the idea of you
and i have crumpled it up again,
threw it into the trash can



i have pulled you back out
and i have smoothed you out again,
hung it over the mantel piece

FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS*
  
May countless lights
Show delightful sights:
May there be no threats
Of ****** fights,
No clouds of smoke,  
No smell of sulphur,
No noise of gunfire,
No scenes of ruined homes
And orphans' cries
And parents' heart-rending wails,
No sorrow that dims the light
In anyone's eyes.
May the light of knowledge and wisdom
Illumine the path to happiness:
May the light of joy and love
Sparkle in everyone's eyes
In every humble home.
May our fervent prayer -
Lead mankind from darkness to Light'
"Tamasoma Jyothirgamaya."
May all nations together strive
To pave the way to harmony and peace.
                   M.G.N.Murthy
Hyderabad, India

KING OF THE BOXING RING*
        
Muhammad Ali, the renowned boxing star,
Thrilled the world with his terrific fights;
Fearsome moves, nimble feet and fiery fists,
Memorable in his own well-known words,
Could "float like a butterfly and sting like a bee",
Cruhed his mighty rivals with awesome ease.
Honoured and loved as a great humanist,
More than titles, he valued respect and equality
And fought against racism and injustice.
Stripped of his title and thrown into jail,
Bravely opposed the Vietnam war,
Refused to join the army and drop bombs
On unknown people who were not his foes.
When ill-treated for the colour of his skin,
Threw his Olympic medal into the Ohio stream,
Roused the conscience of his fellowmen.
Ali, the great pugilist, king of the boxing ring,
Shines in the galaxy with Mandela and Dr. King.
                      ***.   M.G.Narasimha Murthy
Hyderabad, India.

I miss you.
I miss the clouds that we made.
I miss the stars that we stare.
I miss the unicorn that jump at the ocean.
I miss the nights, where we sail the galaxy.
I miss your touch.