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Jaanam Jaswani Sep 2013
A worthless instrument filled with sentiment
That is what I want to take
   from when I thoroughly become benevolent.

I yearn a reminder of a version
Of myself where I don't have piercing eyes
Or a cold body
Or a stifling loathe of beings similar to myself
Or a need to curl up to a ball when pens *****

Ah fornicate this I can't write anymore

There's a hope buried in me
It multiplies like bamboo shoots entangling
It says grow thorns, be turgid
It says pop horns, stay frigid

I walk down the corridor constantly defying myself
I'm one character I think
Am I
i Mar 2014
you,
unlike mom,
were always calm
and collected.
but you were so
oblivious,
you had no idea what she did
to me,
that monster you loved so much
was so unfair to me,
but you were too clueless to notice.
i can not blame you, dad,
she always put that mask around
you, so you couldn't figure it out,
even if you wanted to.

i cried for a month straight
when you passed away,
and mom was so calm
about it, i don't think
she ever loved you.

but i still love you, dad,
i love you in ways she never could,
i still love you, even though
your feet no longer walk
on this earth.

*and i am sorry, that i turned into
her,
so, so sorry,
i never wanted to
disappoint you,
i love you, daddy.

— The End —