I yearn to give you everything
That they do not give you,
I want to give you rest and comfort,
As I help you pull through.
If you need taking care of,
I'd promise I'd be there -
But you're so far away,
I feel like I'm not there.

Miles may separate us,
But in my heart I hold you close,
And if I had the chance,
I'd never let you go.

I spend parts of my days,
Planning out ways,
Of how to get you back.
I know you wouldn't mind it much,
But there's always obstacles in attack.

I think you are okay, or at least on the surface,
I have to make myself trust
That you are happy in that family,
That I've been taken out of.

Knowing from experience though,
It will probably hurt one day,
Or at least for the oldest of you.
And I will wrap you up warm
And try to empathise,
Never the less, I will try my best
To bandage it all up and make it the most it can be.

And if you wanted, I'd hide you away and bring you everything you need.
For me general daily things are hard, if socialisation's involved,
But I'd try my best for you,
Because that's what you're supposed to do
For the people that you love, for family.

Lately I've felt that they're stealing you all,
That they're cutting me out.
Our mother only wants me on her terms,
And that's not how it should be;
I would walk over mountains for you, you see.
I can't come to you, but I have tried getting you to me.

Still, I worry that one day,
You'll think I gave up,
You'll think that I left you
And nothing could ever make that true.
I will always try to do what's right by you.

I don't want you seeing the wreckage before you need to,
Before you can handle it.
I need to know you're safe, not sorry.
I'm starting to wonder here, if maybe I'm just being dramatic.
But this is some of the reason that I pretend or hide it,
With the act of being a somewhat good daughter,

Well really it's also because:
It's hard not to do the job when you're with her,
Almost as if it pulls something from me;
Like it's my fault for not having what I want,
And if I'm good in that moment I'll have it.
Except it,
Never comes.

I miss you four,
And I'll always love you more.

We chased the stars
And fought the enemy in our dreams
For all it seemed
You, him, and I
We had the world in the palm of our hands
Everything possible
And all the moments our own creation

Childhood days
We grew up Lost Boys
Somewhere in the mind
Were Tinkerbell was not far behind
Pixie dust in her hand
And Wendy always a friend
As Peter Pan showed us the way
In Never Never Land

Some people didn't believe
But we proved them wrong
Together you, him and I
We were strong
We were young
Never afraid to take on
Whatever came our way

Childhood days
We grew up Lost Boys
Somewhere in the mind
Were Tinkerbell was not far behind
Pixie dust in her hand
And Wendy always a friend
As Peter Pan showed us the way
In Never Never Land

What we imagined
We thought could be real
Now the days are gone
And we are grown
Him and I still here
And wherever you are
I guess we'll try to figure out

Childhood days
We grew up Lost Boys
Somewhere in the mind
Were Tinkerbell was not far behind
Pixie dust in her hand
And Wendy always a friend
As Peter Pan showed us the way
In Never Never Land

Someday
We'll be Lost Boys once again
Fight the enemy
And chase our dreams
We'll fly once more
You, him, and I

In Never Never Land

_

Being an older brother is tough.

Assuming the role of child and parent at the same time.

You are no saint.

Often expected to be one.

All the pressure, take me back.



Playing in the backyard.

Expected to be a mediator.

You needing some idea of childhood.

Wondering if you’ll ever get one.

All the pressure, take me back.



They look up to you.

Offering words of wisdom when possible.

Letting them fail as you did.

Protecting them as you should.

All the pressure, take me back.



Soon, you’ll be grown.

Love will mean more.

Adult decisions looming before you.

Tears dropping to the carpeted floor.

Pressure I never asked for.

Hey bro, I got your back
Through thick and thin
Won't let any harm come to him
No matter what weapons they bring
The hate can never break the bond we have
We got a connection nobody else has
Same blood flows through our veins
Same creative forces in our brains
Never give up
Strive to be your best
You have a talent you're willing to share
You've got a knack for showing you care
Even with this sibling rivalry
Nothing can change the knowledge I've gained
From watching you grow into who you are today
And we may pick fights,
It's just brotherhood gets a little rough sometimes
But I know you will achieve great things
And I can't wait to see you living your dreams
All this faith in you I have
You've inspired me to be better
I need to set examples for my younger Brother
Need to get out and try and reach these dreams
Show him if you work hard enough for it
You can make it anywhere you want
Dedication can take you beyond the stars
A little blood, sweat and tears, can take you so far
No matter where it is we are
You’ll be always shining from afar
No matter what happens I got your back
Just hope you always remember that.

©2018 Written By Benji James

It showed on their face.

The rides were fun
but they were breathless.

From the cable car
the sky seemed not that far
and to the wind it was unfair
to have two men without much hair.

Rain had brought color to soft eyes
huddling and cuddling at free wills
but sought shelter these two guys
from the teen lovers' merry squeals.

They rushed to be in time for the first row
childishly enthralled by the 3D show
dipping the whole of their emotion
in the history of origin and evolution.

The day had been too soon done
when in the melted afternoon sun
the two forgot all the worries
in the romance of rediscoveries.

Our brother has
       claws and teeth.
But never does he look
                at us as a feast.

So cuddly and soft he's our
                    blanket to sleep.
When walking around the lake
                he purrs in delight.

For he is our brother from a
                         distant cousin,
that's what our mother says.
        But to us he's our best-est friend.

He purrs in his sleep, we quack when
                             we have bad dreams.
But together were brothers, no matter
        our looks, we are family always.

Years fly by without a moment too soon
Our childhood is gone, Like a hazy sunday afternoon
We are no longer the same, children no more
We've grown up now, We aren't as close as before

I wanted to protect you from the world
I wanted to make things right
But It seems no matter how hard I try
You always look at me with spite

I wanted you to look up to me
I wanted to seem so cool
But every time I open my mouth
You treat me as if I am a fool

I wanted to help you
I wanted to treat you the best I can
But when I offer you help
You act as if you are a man

I wanted to change the past
I wanted to show you I can be kind
But whenever I show you love
Your response is always unkind

I know its time to stop pretending
To stop treating you as a kid
I know that you've grown up too
That nothing now can erase what I did

After everything we've been through
After all the damage we've done
Don't let growing up
Become the thing that makes us undone

So to my dearest little brothers
Even though you've grown so tall
Please don't forget me
I am your big sister after all

So tired of all the memories 
It brings me back to you
And I can't help but wonder
How I'll go on another year 
Fighting all these demons 
That remind me you're not here 

It's a bittersweet December 
And it haunts me all the time
I can't change what happened
But I can make it all brand new 
 
I go back to that day 
And picture the last time 
It breaks me down
And I fall to my knees
Asking why?
Why? 
 
It's a bittersweet December 
And it haunts me all the time
I can't change what happened
But I can make it all brand new 
 
One year passes, now almost two
And I'm scared to face it
But somehow you know 
And the day though dark 
Was suddenly turned brighter

A beautiful little face
Born on this day 
 
It's a bittersweet December 
And it haunts me all the time
I can't change what happened
But I can make it all brand new 

It's a bittersweet December 
And though it haunts me all the time
I can finally breath again
With the miracle you've blessed
 
In this bittersweet December