the mess has been swept
the tears have been wept
i no longer long for greater length of our days together
to sleep, to be alive
to breathe, to attend today
moving my body
in and out the store
in and out the gym
in and out my room
in and out your life
only to have memory of all places and minds i've been
the doors are shutting, and I'm waiting for somebody to come out the "other" side
but they are clueless
the imagination is broken
and the train tracks have rusted
the destination is blocked
thank all of your thoughts

You make me sober in ways I don't understand.
The way you kiss me,
The way you hold my hand.

It makes me feel like I have purpose.
Like I can finally breathe,
As if the weight upon my shoulders has left.

Every single time that I feel hazy,
buzzed and gone,
I think of you and I can see clearly.

But I'm sorry that I didn't think of you that night...
When I clearly wasn't in my right state of mind.
The way I yelled at you, and left...

I was intoxicated with the monster.
I decided to drive away.

Little did I know,
I wouldn't return,
and the men in blue would show up at your house.

There is time for thought
During this daily walk
There is no need to achieve
No need to count steps
Or tally blocks or miles or minutes
Leisure is on-deck
Time away from work
Time away from expectations
Time when the only eyes evaluating
The steps, the distance, the pace
Is you

Pressure mounts step by step
Shifting attention from the trees
The falling leaves, the birds,
Returning to self-centered issues
Returning to thoughts that evaluate
Judgments about the past
Become concerns for the future
Has enough been accomplished
Has enough been stored
For what is to come

Current experience happens
Yet passes by
Without appreciation
Without being savored

Being becomes anxiety
Being becomes guilt
Being becomes non-being

The question is repeated
Constantly nagging
“Why is it so hard to become
Aware of the present
And why is it so hard to stay
With the moment?”

Will life be long enough
For one to accept
That this is good-enough
That this moment
Is life and it is good enough
Being here, being now

to oversee

to "feel" neglect on some kind of truth

the one that makes you go crazy

whatever it is

it's beautiful with you

but i shook hands with an end i couldn't accept

on to the next i guess

i can't bare with the unknown regarding you



another sip
to numb my lips




imagining the possiblity of us

desiring trust from myself

can't dwell in the hell i've created for my health

living to overcome the previous days

a transit to a better tomorrow

a mentality to try and follow

for no reason but satisfation with ones self

why would i ever want to satisfy my "SELF"?

"i" shouldn't need you, this longing is at war with my being

various traits to become alligned with

to make up who we are and what we want to be

in time

ways of patience

practice


in the stream of dedication
initiation is tricky
a little iffy

everything we used to be has ended

left my side 2b free

my mind aches so ******* much
i know it's easier to simply "be"
the story started to end when I thought this love wouldn't fade

no hope from the start

for the next person, there's no love to spare

time away

it'll just fly

like the 3 years i'll deny ever happened

pour myself away

to observe all that I "am"

the memories of you aren't "now"

it's a hard thing to accept

gone with the love we both portrayed

until it fades and decays

in time we'll heal and say
          we've learned from the tragedies

      fall for oppositions

that's the first sign...

we were blind.... in denial
or is that just how I see right now?

achieve the moment of being alone

only to know, that's what I always was

to think you were the only one


the fights just leave us in distress

to know I'm no longer harming you

vice versa

the happier I seem to be

undenianiably memorable segment of our lives

to look back and still feel and know love... or what it could

be....

the unlimitedness of it

to know I do, doesn't matter if you do
is enough for

me.

when the autumn ends

will be we passed ammends?

doge the

                     pain.....

to get
           hit from another direction

i'll just fall.....

and get up again

don't you worry






           about David

when it all goes to ****
and the chemicals don’t hit
Remember
you’ve always been the one to control your will to quit
And you’re still here
even when your life is smeared
and there’s nowhere else to steer
there’s still a move to be played
early or late
those who face themselves
aren’t ones to be betrayed

it makes sense
A tad tense from a day that don’t require two cents
Seeing from a different lense