#autism poems on Hello Poetry

Harri Oct 2018

All I can do is close my eyes,
And hold my breath,
And pray that this is not my life.
That I was switched at birth,
Or switched in time,
Or maybe I just haven’t woken up yet.
That’s it!
It must be!
This is all just a dream,
a nightmare,
This merry go round
Of work and bills and people, oh my!
And the tune that it’s playing
As I spin round and round,
The cracked cadence of a broken music box,
Do this, do that, why aren’t you married yet?
Hey don’t worry,
You just haven’t found the right guy.

It should be so easy,
To dance to their tune.
Everyone else does it…
So why can’t I?

#society #mental #illness #health #autism #aspergers #depression #anxiety #dream #reality

Harri Oct 2018

Chiaroscuro

They say demons should be
     exorcised
They say in the dark lurks
     evils
They say in your soul
should be nothing but
       light
That washed out is better
than chiaroscuro.
They say all these
      things
But what do they know,
these people who live in the grey?
My muses are demons
My pen is a knife
My life is much
       better
With black ink in my
       veins
I suppose if their minds were to
       open
We'd all be exactly the same;
A world full of demon filled people
With eyes open
       wide
Drawing beauty from shade.

#mental #illness #health #autism #aspergers #depression #anxiety #demons #chiaroscuro #awareness

Harri Oct 2018

Bones

I’m slipping again.
I can hear them.
Whispered admonishments,
Echo in my head…
Louder and louder,
As I feel fuller and fuller,
All my spaces filled with shadows,
And the demons start to creep,
Clawing up my throat
And through the cuts in my skin.
I can’t control the chaos,
My hands are sliding on the reins,
I wish that I could ask for help,
But they won’t let me.

I don’t recognise the face I see,
Staring from the mirror,
It’s pale,
empty,
An ill-formed shell,
A weak and cracked container
For this maelstrom,
My hell.

They’re scratching at my skin again,
Make it stop, make it stop.
My bones are breaking through again,
Make it stop.

#mental #illness #health #bones #autism #aspergers #depression #anxiety #awareness #demons

Harri Oct 2018

Don't forget to smile.

Smile.
“I’m fine.”
Smile.
“Just tired.”
Smile.
“oh, sorry, I’ve been busy.”
Smile.
Smile.
Smile.

It’s funny,
isn’t it?
How hard it is to tell the difference
between a smile

and a grimace.

It’s funny,
isn’t it?
How people are so willing
to swallow a lie,
If it’s what they want to hear,

And you’re baring your teeth.

#mental #illness #health #autism #aspergers #smile #awareness #depression #anxiety #lie

Emerson Nosreme Oct 2018

Describe Yourself

I know it sounds
So utterly dull
And strange to
Some of you
But here is
A description
Of me
Like you asked

I am a child born as snow fell
On the day David Bowie died
(Technically a few years before that)
A little late
But still good
I was as quiet as a mouse
I never cried or complained

But when I got older
Things changed
I didn’t act like other children
I wore brown each day
Which turned to purple
And now it is shades of
Blue, black and grey
Things were confusing
And a woman kept seeing me
In my home
Asking me questions
And showing me videos and pictures
Of a million different emotions
On a million different faces
And I mostly stayed alone
In the playground

I then researched myself
I found out what I have
It’s a little something
That makes me a little mad
But not bad
I don’t understand different emotions
I know what happy is
I know what sad is
But people don’t show their emotions truthfully
And I can’t understand it
I hate it when people talk
LOUDLY
AT
THE
TOP
OF
THEIR
LUNGS
I don’t like trying new foods
I don’t like being touched that much
Unless I know the person
And processing information
Is a little hard

But I have a few abilities
So I’m not a disability
I see patterns everywhere
I remember random facts
I see the trees and not the forest
I am emotive and mostly understanding
And of course
I write my dreams
My thoughts
My opinions
My life
Through poems
And questions
And the nice thing is
No one minds
No one cares
They don’t mind that I am me
They don’t care how I do things

if you see any song lyrics that I am referencing or any other references, let me know!

#autism #life #emotions #feelings

Emerson Nosreme Oct 2018

the myth of autism functionality

Can you clear this up for me?
I was told autism is a 'spectrum disorder'
It is Autism Spectrum Disorder
Spectrum means a circle of unless colours in different shades
Light or dark
Hot or cold

So why is it rated by functionality?!

I am 'high functioning', I can succeed in life with no support.
If that is the truth
Why do I panic at every sound?
Why can't I process information?
Why am I not as social than I should be?

I know someone who is 'low functioning'
I am told they won't succeed at life
But they draw beautiful pictures
So does that mean they will not succeed?

So tell me
Is the spectrum a lie?
Or is the functionality a myth?

#autism #functionality #life #spectrum #autistic

Paul Butters Oct 2018

Autism

Back in my teenage college years
I was told about “Autistic kids”
Who lived in worlds of their own,
Seeing things through weird and wonderful specs
In social isolation,
Frightening in its completeness.

At sixty six I since have learned about many
Of their “traits”:
Their obsessions, inflexible routines and
Panic
At all change.
Their inability to read
Emotions or social cues
Or innuendos
Or irony.

I have worked with those with Aspergers,
Colleagues, friends and clients –
Indeed with people all over
The Autistic Spectrum.

And the main thing I have learned
In all these years
Is that in my own way…
I am one of them.

Paul Butters

© PB 1\10\2018.

There, I'm Out.

#autism #psychology #people #life #mentality #mind

Emerson Nosreme Oct 2018

Am I Being Rude?

Sir
Jerome
Mrs
Michael
Miss
Lucy
Mister
Wendy
Ma'am
Kate

I hear all these names at once
I hear all these things at once
I can hear everything

A glass just shattered
It was loud for them
It was louder for me

Don't be rude!

"I need to get some more raspberries tomorrow-"
"Remember Harry's anniversary is next week-"

All these words combined
Making me lose my mind

"I need to get- Harry's anniversary is next week-"
" remember- some more raspberries tomorrow-"

I'm shaking
I'm being stared at
I can't see
But I know they're staring
Don't take pity
I'm used to it

There's a woman touching me
She's touching my shoulder
She's speaking in a 'can I help you ma'am?' voice
But I can't hear what she's saying
It's under-

"Get a chair!"

Water

I see her again
She's rubbing my back
I think I'm screaming
I can hear screaming
I don't know if it's me
It doesn't sound like me
But it also sounds like me

"What's up with her?"
"Don't be rude!"

The room blurs.
It fades.
Everything fades.
Then I'm outside.
The woman is still there.
She's still speaking in that stupid voice.
I wanna tell her that I'm not a toddler.
But I do appreciate what she did.
So I decide not to be rude

#autism #meltdown #panic #attack #social #party

Tessa Marie Freeman Sep 2018

A Dancer in the Street

This girl doesn't care that it's August. She will wear her snow boots because she likes that they light up.

This girl doesn't care there is no music. She will dance where she wants to the music in her mind.

She doesn't care who is watching. Or who disapproves.

I wish to be more like her.
I wish more were like her.

I hope no one stifles it out of her.

No, "Sit still"
No, "Calm down"
No, "Be embarrassed"

Be you.
Be like her if you're inclined to.
Be a dancer in the street.

My daughter has autism and doesn't care what you think of her. she lives life to the fullest.

#autism #freespirit

Emerson Nosreme Sep 2018

untitled #3

How do I explain
To the person who is supposed
To help me with 'any problems'
That they are the problem?

Quick question (read the poems... Yeah the story is true)

#autism #key #worker #help #advice #question