All my demons coming to play.
One tells me to slit my throat-
The other tells me to pray.

One tells me to bleed.
The other tells me 'sweet dreams'.
I cannot trust one or the other-
Maybe even both.
But I cannot escape them.
One sits on my bed.
The other is inside my head.
I'm not psychotic or even hallucinating,
just hiding from my demons.

Laughing kids,
Each smile painted on their face,
In whitening toothpaste,
Beautiful girls and,
Athletic boys,
And you,
And me,
The two from ****** up families,
Talking about our shared anxiety,
A party,
I will find the one most broken,
And talk to them,
Because everything they say is just,
So **** relateble,
You tell me you've broken fingers,
Punching things,
And everyone laughs and says:
"He totally has!"
And I tell you that my fingers never broke,
But my wall did,
On several occasions,
You tell me your dad,
Is always drunk as ****,
And I tell you mine didn't need alcohol to hit,
You tell me you never go to school because of your anxiety disorder,
And anger issues,
And depressive episodes,
I tell you: "oh my god me too!"
Because you're just,
So **** relateble.

I'm not okay
but I'm not broken either
I'm caught somewhere in between
Caught in the middle of the fall
just waiting for my ribs to shatter
all at once
and only
once at all.