Drops of rain against the window pane
Sink into each wooden grain
Thoughts come flooding into my brain
Close behind come waves of pain

Crashing all around me
All I can see is rain
I want this pain to go away

"Two a day"
The doctors say
"Take two a day,
and the pain
will go away"

And two a day
Is what I take
To numb the pain

But still remains
The pain inside
My brain

my beautiful sister,
why?
what made you plunge so deep into the darkness?
was the high just so enticing?
was it a craving for the sting of the needle
as you shoved it through your porcelain skin?
was our love not enough for you?
was it not enough for you to stay?
I wish I knew
why you hated yourself
so much
that your demons forced you
to crave the numbness
and you willingly listened.
I hate you for making my thoughts race,
Is she still alive?
Was there anything I could have done to
prevent this?
But I love you for leaving me with old childhood memories.
my beautiful sister,
please
I am begging
for you,
THE REAL YOU
to return home.

don't fall victim to the snake.
for its venom will slice
through your blood stream
as smoothly
as a blade across skin.
don't let the snake's eyes fool you,
behind his sly tongue
lies sharp fangs
that are waiting
for your vulnerability to show.
and any minute,
the snake could turn you
from his prize,
to his feast.

I felt strong and able to move forward,
but then I saw you
and you saw me.
then you kissed her.
and I felt my whole makeshift world
come tumbling back down.
I felt my legs weaken beneath me
and my heart crack and spill open.
my blood boiling in my ears,
the noise is so loud
I become deaf.
my hands become numb.
you kissed her.
YOU.
the one person I had given my everything to,
I had never thought I could become
so
vulnerable.
I am weak because
you broke me,
again.
It's back to the end,
I am frail because
I let you invade into my cerebrum
where you had once imprinted your soul.
I feel ashamed for
letting your eyes
trigger my sorrows.
I am nothing
because I had let you
hurt me;
I had let you
win my tears,
once
again.