It all ends
and i thought I was Summer
when finally I met my Autumn.

Defeat  your future self.
Respond rather than react.
Take it one step at a time.
Aim for zero pending,
or just be present, show up,
especially for yourself!
You will make it happen.

I am right all along
They needed that break
I can't be wrong

I fear to be seen
not by you
no because..
"Don't you want to?"

an experience within
restlessness, grit or fear
how much more of a doer
just do I think I need to be

creation
maybe, isolation

that I'm in this kind of flow
learning and re-learning more within

disbelief,
needed a reason
chaos deciphered

tickles me
a eureka moment
maybe
this is how I currently love myself the most

I am way too close and almost done,
I thought I could start anew.
How did I not shun,
When I saw that too.

Kumusta?
Kukumustahin pa ba?
Hihintayin ka ba?
Meron pa ba?
Nasa akin ba?

Respeto.
Sa gagawing mga desisiyon
Sa bawat saya at lungkot
Sa lahat ng sumulpot
Sa ikabubuti o ikalulugmok

Hahayaan kita!
Maghilom ang mga sugat
Mapagod kakukwento’t kakahalungkat
Maghanap ng ikaliligayang tapat
Matagpuan ang sarili, maging sapat

Maaaring
Magkatagpung muli bilang magkaibigan
Magbalik sa dating nadaramang handa naman
Maging estranghero’t magkalimutan
Sa malayo masubaybayan.

Ako’y nandirito;
Sa dinami rami ng pwedeng mangyari
Dumaan man sa lubos na pighati
Alalahanin **** mabuti
Pag-isipan **** maigi

Kaya ko na..
Tanggapin, panindigan
Patawarin, kamtan
Harapin, sundan
Hanapin, malaman

I don’t know why
I still haven’t written
a single letter for you.
Maybe, it’s me getting tired
of having my raw feelings showing
and with you,
I don’t have to do it,
or maybe,
it’s the platonic relationship
that we have or had
that I cherished so much.
I just know
we always cared for each other
and I love that about us.

I feel better
But why do I always find myself crying in the afternoon
Everything is connected with you.

I think clearer
But why do I keep on digging dip on our past conversations
We had real connection, unattached.

Oh. I miss 'missing you'.
When did I became so attached, wanting to hear your voice, see you smile, and feel your warmth.
I am no longer familiar with your scent, your taste.

I am afraid of the gap.
That we are finally moving on.
That I seem great but I am not doing well at all.

Whenever I got hurt it goes deeply linked with my past wounds.
Though I wasn’t scared to feel all of those at the same time,
I’m always scared I’ll hurt you every time.
I’m sorry I didn’t know how to accept and give love,
I’m sorry for all I know is how to be miserable.

As you told me I figured you could be my guide
I put my guard down as you take me
This is somewhere too far
And yet you have made sure
That you could leave me, anytime
I didn’t see that coming but of course
I have to find my way on my own
Just to realize you took me where I once were
Am I really kind and selfless?
You reminded me my old pains and angst
And still made me feel like I’m worthy
Most of all, I admired what I saw
I can’t help but to think of my endless possibilities

Thank you,
But are you still there?
Almost unreal,
What was that?
Whoosh,
Where are you?
A wind,
A whale song?
My, my, my mind is all over
I can’t stop thinking of getting better
But I also can’t stop thinking of getting better with you

gusto muna mawala
konting hakbang
kahit pagsisihan
gusto ko muna mawala

Is this love?
I want to prove myself to you.
Am I confused?
I wouldn't care believe me, it is love.
I just wasn't as naive.
You did not love me as much.
Now I'm confused all over again.
Was it love?
Did you have to prove yourself to me?
I am confused.
Tell me what this is.
Let's not make it complicated and tell me.
Where did I go wrong?
Do soulmates exist?
Can you unlove a person?
Am I not enough?
Answer me.
Just tell me.
I could fix things.
Answer me.
Just tell me.
Was I not worth it, anymore?
Maybe if I..

I don't want to be here
littlest thing needed trying
bigger things are overwhelming

if that was my definition
then it was too easy
making it harder
to not look petty