I always like to sleep
Because otherwise
I’m tired
And feel so deep
All day
All night

But with you
I’d stay up all night
Until we see the light
Of the sun rising
And it’s surprising
How together
We can stay awake
All day
All night

And I’d do it
Again and again
All over
Every time
For you
All day
All night

Summer is coming up
Should I be excited?
Should I be happy?
I used to be
And maybe I should
But I'm not

Summers aren't
What they used
To be

As a child
Summers were something
That everyone
Really, everyone
Looked forward to

So Magical

The magic that used to be
Is gone
Never coming back

Now
Everyone is in their rooms
No one goes out
With their friends
Plays Ball
Goes swimming

The magic that used to be
Will it ever come back?

I waited
Seconds
Minutes
Hours
Days
Weeks
Months
Years
Nothing changed
Nothing healed

I called you
Stranger
Friend
Best friend
Lover
Stranger.

I was addicted
Addicted to you
The way
You made me feel
Like I was special
But you ruined me
Now I ask myself
Wasn't it obvious?
So obvious

You couldn't save me
From my darkest thoughts
From my pain
From my battle inside
From the cuts I hide
Probably didn't even try
You didn't try
But did I?

You're hurting me
I can't let go
You can't let go
Just let go

It hurts to leave
Even though
You're hurting me
Why can't you leave me?
Why can't I leave you?
We're not meant for each other
Set me free
Finally free

Now I'm realizing
You couldn't save me
I couldn't save you either
You hurt me
I hurt you too

I'm not better
Than you
Than her
Than him
Than them
I'm not better than anyone else

I'm not better
A fact
I don't want
To accept

Imperfect
Jealous
Angry
Sad
Numb
All these emotions
They're mine
But who doesn't feel them?
Are my feelings
Anyone's feelings
Not allowed
Not valid
Anymore?

I act like I'm better
Than you
Than her
Than him
Than them
Better than anyone else
To distract me
From feeling
Like I'm worse
Worse than anyone
Because deep down
I know
That's the truth

I'm the worst

You're holding the rope so tight
Your fingers,
Your palms,
Ripped open
Hurting
Bleeding

Yet you can't let go
You just can't let go
What if you lose?
But what if
What feels like a loss
Is better than winning?
Better than
That long lasting
Dull Ache,
Endless Bleeding

Even if you don't let go
Who says you'll win?
At some point
Your arms give in
You have to let go
Anyway

But what if you let go
Right now?
What if
There's Relief?
What if
You're finally
Able to breathe?

Forget winning
Forget losing

Sometimes
You just have to
Let go