I remember
That day when we went for a "small" getaway.
Still not summer
But it was hot enough that day.
That day we saw
Maybe the most beautifully surreal sunset.
Respecting no law
We just sat and stared at it.
Couldn't take our eyes off
The magnificent illusions of the sun.

We drove off
And the music begun.
On our merry way of contemplating
About planets and their orbiting
Stars and their loved nobodies.
We sang away to all the melodies.

Night was swallowing up our car
But we we're still marveling at every star.
And it's one of those only times I felt free
That's what freedom felt like to me.

It was also the first time I felt this type of love
Platonic
In love with someone's soul
Deliric
In love with the world
I'm in.
The only moment I had with no worry
And i thought this is the perfect moment to write  about it
One of my only happy memories.

It seems so ethereal now
So unreachable.
But to that moment I bow
Now I'm alone.
For that moment now I grieve.
There's none of that freedom left for me.
But the getaway remains
In our beloved rotting brains.

i feel like air
    - unnoticed-
    but
    -vital-
     cold and warm
no color
   (inhale)
   (exhale)
  forever

I am watching the grass grow
He said as his eyes turn yellow.
Fog and rain levitate around
Twirling and singing with no sound.
He shuts them up
Liquid thunder
I can't fall in the gap
Being able to breathe never seemed harder.
But crimson orchids grow out of desperation
Spreading their roots over hopes and dreams
In a game of decapitation
The headless boy wins.
And he dances on silent waters
Surrounded by velvet curtains
Broken everywhere by every flower
That told him love hurts.
But water still flows
And my orchids still grow
The liquid thunder stays in
And surrenders to the storm within.

i
give
up




~am i too strong to die or too weak to live? ~

Bruised violet sky of the mornings
Question my empathy
Blood red midnight skies
Take care of me.
It's been the same for days
Me and hurting for others.
I'm trying to find different ways
Of turning love into a color
And hate into desire.
It's been a couple of long nights
Of manufacturing dreams made out of worn out luster.
I'm staring right into the lights
Of bright disaster.
Love me rotting wood
Loosening up to the wind
Keep me painted in ****
I'm just a poisonous fiend.
Fading away into the blue