TW.



I picked up a razor two nights ago,

thinking, would I find solace,
if it’s dragged across my skin?

My mind answered me instantly. 

No, I wouldn’t find solace.

A rip, a tear in skin, a patch of flesh will show

Pain, in the form of blood may flow

But all that will stop

Once I slap a plaster on it. 



Well, that was two nights ago. 


Today, I think about floating into the abyss of the sky

The moment I jump off this 30 story building that is my office. 

The wind would feel better than it has ever

But it will stop, in the form of a doubt

Right before I take off. 



How much longer can I go?
Everyday, the hole in my soul sinks a little deeper.

Every living moment feels like I’m being dragged through a bed of thorns

It hurts, and I don’t know why anymore

I just want to be sure

But I really can’t put a finger on it.

my hands now tremble when i pick up the pen
because all i want to write about is the time i held your hand

my tongue is tied now when i speak of your name
because i all want to say is how much i miss you when we drove each other insane

I took a glance of my late grandfather's photo one day,
Had I known he were to end his journey,
End the name he had written for himself,
The name tattooed on the hearts of his family,
The title he built, he earned and he lived for,
All the memories with all the people,
The people he had imprinted with such love, such care, such joy,
I would have kissed him goodbye, had I known
I would have hugged him longer, had I known
I would have went to for his last birthday celebration, had I known
I would have held his hand tighter, had I known,
I would have told him how much we all love him so very much,
Had I known he was going to leave us all
With all our thoughts, pain, misery, and a void not easy to fill,
With his beautiful, cheeky grin that brought laughter and joy that could light up a room,
With his lovely hands that touched our souls,
With his strong feet that brought him into our lives.
Had I known,
That was the last time
We would be in contact ever  again.
(Y.M)

Why are you awake?


Because daddy wanted you to live
Mommy wanted you to love
Your siblings thought you words through out your life
Your exes kept your mind preoccupied
Your future lover is picture perfection in your mind,
And your future children are standing in a line.

why are you alive?

because
mommy and daddy love so much
gramma and gramppa approved and blessed them
uncles and aunties pleased with the love surrounding
sons and daughters too young to even walk
but some could hear them talk
nieces and nephews are so very confused
while they sip on a cup of honeydew

Why do you live?
Because I love you.

First things first, I don't know if we still talk. I probably grew too busy and you probably did too. I don't know if I've seen your face in the last couple of months, and I don't know if I will in the next couple of years. I don't know if your curly hair still slaps the hair of the person standing behind you when you turn to speak to someone, and I don't know if your eyes still light up when you talk to now, someone else about the guy who ended up breaking your heart. I don't know if you can decide whether turquoise or aqua blue makes your skin tone stand out best, but I don't know if I can help you decide anymore.

I guess what all I want to say is thank you, although it will never be enough. Although it doesn't mean our paths will ever cross, again. I don't think I would be the person I am today without the countless arguments we've had, the numerous heart to heart sessions, the spontaneous food trips and the laughter. Oh, the great, great laughter.

I wouldn't have learnt to run if you didn't stand next to me and held my hand when I learnt to crawl away from every single person who broke my heart. I wouldn't have learnt to smile if you didn't stand opposite me making funny faces when I thought I was done. I wouldn't have learnt how to never give up if you didn't stay up with me convincing me I was worth much more than I had made myself believe. I wouldn't have learnt how to deal with death if you didn't pick me up when I fell face flat and screamed for you to not touch me.

I wouldn't have grown if you didn't tell me I needed to stop seeing the world from only two eyes, that there was a bigger picture with greater sufferings. I don't know if the way you cared for me has caused you pain or happiness, but in both cases do know that every second you spent on me is something I believe has moulded be into being the person I am today. So thank you, for your time. For your patience, for your kindness, for your love, for your sacrifices, for your presence at some point in my life.


I wish for you, the best in everything that you are, and everything that you strive to be. I pray you are blessed with nothing but the best and I hope you know, I care.


**Thank you.

What do you think about love?
To you, is love just another game?
Or is it a feeling, or a phase?
Can it be exorbitant to your limitations?
Is there a capacity to how much love you can give or receive?
How much do you think love can affect your soul?
Would you ever let love fly past your wall of boundaries?
Could you ever let go of what you call love?
Do you think love can save the day?
In the midst of a lonely day, do you really want love to show you the way?



do you think love is all you have?
think again, love.