everyday
I think of how
Life would've been
If you didn't leave

everytime
My heart beats a little faster
At every thought
Of your left soul

every second
My mind races
To the way your hair
Would touch
Your face

every hour
I wish that
you didn't leave
On that very day.

my family told me that they were the most important in my life,
they imprinted their significance in the back of my head,
but i realized that the most important ones are;
the beings that stick around after a cold fight
or the few people who drove miles and miles just to hold you tight.
maybe even the people who let you dampen their shirts,
after all the problems that made your head spin,
your eyes clouded with tears,
your hands tremble
and your ears buzz on the inside.

maybe to you, these people are the few people you label as family,
the ones who you come home to see after a hectic day at work,
or the people you greet as you throw your self on the couch.
maybe the people you go on long vacations with
or the people who say they're the most important in your lives,
but these people could be the reason behind those problems or those fights.

did you see
the way her eyes
were screaming for help
while she said she was okay?

did you feel
the way
her knees shook
as she ran
catching her train
of thoughts?

did you hear
her voice crackle
as she laughed
at your dumb joke?

did you taste
the salty tears
that ran down
her pale lips
the other night?

No, you didn't.
all you did
was pat her back.

All you did
was ride
that tormenting
train ride.

All you did
was laugh along
with your joke.

All you did
was kiss her lips
thinking she'd be fine
thinking it'd be over.

Look behind a face of an endless smile,
Maybe you'll find a tear that
You should listen to.

Find behind the lines of a striped t-shirt,
A bleeding heart that's quietly
Pleading for help.

They say time can heal a broken man
But it's been 3 years and
  I am still capable of feeling
   More than what I felt
     When I was with you.  
    What can I say?
   I was in love and I believed it was true
But it hit me; some plants don't bear flowers
You & I were those plants.

I love you, dearest Joy
Never will I stop loving you
  Till my last nights
   I will remember the  worst of our fights.
   Don't worry, I'll be watching
  From a distance and I'll be happy
Just by look at the joy of my life.

Tell me something,
how long you want your hair to grow,
how long you take to give it a blow,
how bad is your afterglow
and how long you take for your left brow.

to be continued

i wish i had a heart of steel-
made as a source of shield;
wishing i could take care
for my own self defense.