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 Jan 2016 Sophia Louissiere
Days had evaporated
And leaves had been blown by wind
Fingers had turned another page
The pen breathed out a new story to tell
Time had sped away, leaving almost everything
Old and forgotten
Forgotten and old
A newborn beginning had started
As the young mind grew wiser
And an innocent heart became learned
And I blew my candle, thinking still
Of what to make of this chance,
This new opportunity that
I have held and grasped
This gift that I was fortunate
To be blessed with
This life, my life...
How? How are you able to understand everything I'm feeling. I give you no information and yet you are still able to see through me. How the hell are you able to look past my smile? You understand that you are my last chance at getting fixed. You know how dead I am inside, and yet you still try to help. I don't understand you. I don't. But sure as hell want to spend the rest of my life with you.
I love you. But I don't understand you.
Write a man a poem he will feel appreciated and flattered
Write a boy a poem and he will shut you down and leave you tattered
Tell a man you love him, he'll say it back with truth
Tell a boy you love him, he'll use it as a gateway to rip off your clothes
Show a man affection, He'll respect you forever
Show a boy affection and to him it will never matter
Spend your money on a man, oh wait a man doesn't want you to do that
However a boy will strip you of everything you've ever had
The difference between a man and a boy is a great one indeed
A man will cherish you forever
While a boy will take what he wants and then leave
 Jan 2016 Sophia Louissiere
To whom this may concern,

I forgive you.
Even if you haven’t apologized just yet;
maybe you never will.
But I have held this hurt in my chest for far too long
and I don’t want this rotting away my naive heart.
I’m writing this with cathartic desperation and a patience
that only comes from being angry for so long.

I want you to notice the first sentence I wrote earlier.
“I forgive you.” Note that I did not say “it’s okay,” or “it’s all right."
There’s a distinction between what I did say and what I could have.
I said that I forgive you. When I say that,
I acknowledge that you have wronged.
You have hurt me and we both ought to recognize that.
If I’d said “it’s okay,” I would be subtly telling you that
“whatever you did, it’s okay, it’s all right.”
I didn’t say it’s okay because it’s not.
Whether or not you come to terms with it
is not my business anymore.

I hope you find yourself within these words
and make peace with yourself, and I hope
you don’t make the same mistake with another individual.

Without Wax,
Someone Whose Scabs
Have Only Recently Become Scars

*P.S. I may have forgiven you
but that does not mean that I trust you just yet.
The second in my Open Letter Series. Let me know what you think about it!
I run from love
in hopes that
it will chase me.
Narcolepsy* hard and heavy watch me fall asleep
            Lulled to bed in a cunning thread of the tangled web we weave
    I dream in pristine colors, windows of my mind anew
No fingerprints or ***** looks or evidence of you

         I find comfort in forever wherever it may be
        I may have left my home but it will always stay with me
                 The smell of all the smoke with the sound of all the rain
   On constant playback every second deep within my brain

        I found that time is all that matters and everything else faded
        I spent years and years learning how to forget everything I hated
    I've only gotten older and have nothing left to show
              Except a ringing alarm clock and blood on my pillow

Narcolepsy** hard and heavy watch me as I sleep
     Another pill, another high, another date to keep
      If I shall die before I wake, I hope that I'm with you
    Then it won't matter where I go, cause you will see me through
 Jan 2016 Sophia Louissiere
Paano ko kalilimutan ang taong hindi naging akin?
Mayroon bang off-switch na pwede kong pindutin?
Gusto kong sabihin sa sarili ko "tama na! huwag ka na umasa!"
Pero bakit nasa larawan mo pa rin ang aking mga mata?

Paano ko kalilimutan ang matang hindi ako tinignan?
Mga matang mapupungay at kaysarap pagmasdan
Kung pwede lang pumikit, tapos pagkadilat ay wala ka na
Para tumigil na ako sa walang humpay na pagluha.

Paano ko kalilimutan ang mga ngiting ubod ng tamis
na iginuhit ng mga labi **** tila seda sa nipis?
Gusto kong isigaw kung gaano kita iniibig!
Ngunit kung sarado ang tainga mo, paano mo ako maririnig?

Marahil sasabihin mo, OA na ang tama ko
hindi ko pa kilala, pero ang drama ko ay ganito
Kasalanan ko bang umasa na ang mga daan namin ay magtatagpo
lalo na kung alam kong andyan lang siya sa kabilang kanto?

Paano ko tatalikdan ang pusong hindi naangkin?
May bukas pa ba na nakalaan para sa atin?
Kailangan ko na bang itigil ang kahibangan kong ito?
Natatakot ako sa sagot, dahil madudurog lang ako.
They don't know how it feels

to awake every morning,
and all they can wonder is
why they had even awoken.

They don't know how it feels

to pick up all of their pieces,
and put them back together
but still feel like they're broken.

They don't know how it feels

to say all that they can say,
and still feel like there's more
but every word has been spoken.

They don't know how it feels

to go to sleep every night,
and the only hope they have
is that their eyes will not open.
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